Blackest Days and Darkest Nights
by sydneyelainee
Summary: My days are black because of the shadow of fear, and my nights dark because of what lies near. Through suffering, torture, and pain, I never knew the concept of having a loving family. Will a silver wolf be able to change that...or will it be to late? (For some reason I had Paul's last name as Porter instead of Lahote. Ignore my mistake please) [movieverse].
1. Old Beginnings

**Main Characters:**

**Name: Jack Uley**

**Age: 29**

**Ethnicity: Quileute **

**Family: Sam Uley(younger brother—[22]), Emily (sister-in-law—[22])**

**Spouse: Buffy Griffin-Uley[26] ****_played by Nicki Minaj_**

**Looks: 6"4'. Deep brown eyes. Dark brown hair. Light russet complexion. Medium muscle build. Looks like Tom Hardy.**

**Background: Jack wasn't like his brother, Sam. Jack was a rough boy growing up and loved to pick on Sam when their mother wasn't around. Jack grew up hearing the legends believing them to be just that. Legends. He has no idea his brother is a shape shifter and an Alpha because he didn't inherit the genes like the others. After Jack graduated from high school at the age of 18, attended USC in California and four years later, met his soon-to-be wife Buffy, age 19, who majored Fine Art and minored in Latin. They fell in love (convinced) forced her to dropout when she became pregnant with twins. Nine months later Aurora and Aiden were born. Twelve months later they were married. For the first year, they lived in her apartment. The next year after making enough money, they had enough to buy a small house. For the next five years, they lived in their humble abode raising their kids. All was well until the beatings started fourth year of their seven year marriage. Started off with little things like slaps and shoves because of her making mistakes. Gradually they became more such as full on punches. Over the years, she got accustomed to it. **

I winced feeling the tender spot on my neck. Ugh. There was a bruise left from last night's events. No, I'm not talking about sex. Other pleasuring activities. Well, for him it is. For me, I'm always the victim who's ended up being battered. For what reason? It changes every night. At least today he was gone this morning. I wouldn't have to face his wrath again. I began powdering the foundation onto the injury of my neck when Aurora and Aiden came running into my bedroom. They're twins.

"Mom," they chorused with widened eyes. I knew what that expression meant. My husband, Jack Uley, hadn't gone to work but, out of the kindness of his heart had woken the kids up this morning for school. This expression was one of fear as well. They hugged my calves tightly as Jack came stumbling firmly into the room whiskey shot glasses in hand.

"Finally you're fucking up, bitch," he sauntered in peering down at our kids and sneered at them. They looked more like me than they did him, which pissed him the hell off. Jack is Quileute, originally from La Push, WA. He stood about 6"5' that which squashed my 5"8' stature. Though he was a full blooded Native American, he didn't look the part. He is almost fair skinned with a hint of a tan. His eyes matched his hair, both a dark chocolate color-had me swooning at our first gathering. He's a skinny guy but heavily built in muscle. He'd use those to his advantage all night. He was a heart throb when we met in college. Now he's...I don't know. The kids inherited my jet black hair and mocha colored skin. Aiden got his dad's eyes and Aurora got mine: sapphire colored eyes. I'm just one of those African American females who had blue eyes.

"Go put on your clothes. Aiden, Aurora," I shooed them out the room turning to face my husband. The patter of their feet bounced down the hallway walls as Jack glared at me. "Honey, it's too early for you to be drunk," I say softly, adjusting his lopsided collar. I smooth it down and reach for the shot glasses.

"What the hell did I say to you about taking my alcohol?"

"Not to take your liquor but-"

"Exactly, bitch," he spat grabbing me by the arm and pulling my body harshly against his. I could tell by the stench of the whiskey he'd been up drinking longer than expected. It burned my eyes. His mouth smothered hotly against mine. I couldn't bring myself to kiss him because of the smell. His hand wrapped around my neck making me gasp for air as he bruised the tender spot from the night before. His tongue forced itself against mine in an aggressive manner. I still couldn't breathe with his hand around my neck as he pulled away. He grinned down at me, watching my hands claw at his grimy fingers. The joints in my neck screamed with pain. "Be ready with the runts in five minutes or else," the threat left hanging in the air was enough for me to kick on my heels for work and go gather the children for school. Aiden and Aurora are starting second grade today at La Push Elementary School. I grab my case filled with documents and find the twins eating their cereal at the table.

"Grab your bags and head out to the car, guys," I ushered them, clearing away their bowls and glasses.

"Mom, I wasn't finished eating yet!"

"I know baby," I kissed Aiden and Aurora's forehead, "But you know what happens when daddy's angry."

"He plays rough with mommy," Aiden wore a sad face once again. "I don't like seeing you hurt mommy."

"Me either," his twin sister sniffled. They buried their childlike face into the crevices of my shoulders as I wrapped my arms around them, rubbing their backs soothingly and kissing their hair.

"Don't cry, babies. Mommy loves daddy, okay? And he loves me back. He just shows it differently than other people do. Okay? Now let's get you to school."

The ride to the school was quick and silent. Well for Jack and me. The twins are chatting aimlessly to each other about making new friends at school. Jack occasionally grunts at them to shut up. They do. Jack doesn't let me leave the car when he drops them off. He just saunters in the school dragging them staggeringly by the hands harshly. I wanted to leap out the car and tend to their bruised wrists but previous memories of brute violence caused me to stop. Next was my stop. Jack refused to let me drive the car for reasons unknown. Probably thought I might run away or something. He pulled up to La Push Tribal High School casting me a glare. I tried ignoring it, grabbing my briefcase and things out the back of the car. Before I was even a step away from the car, his gruff hand latched onto arm retching me back against his body. "Three o'clock, your ass better be outside," he hissed.

"What if I have other duties to attend to," I was trembling at what he'd do now. A few students off to the side were staring at us curiously through narrowed eyes. Please don't do anything in front of them. His eyes intensified with anger.

"You're a fucking office assistant. Whatever shit you have to do, make time for it or your damn brats'll pay for it."

"Don't you dare harm a hair on our children," I snapped feeling the anger cloud my vision. My maternal instincts may have just gotten me in trouble once again.

He grabbed me abruptly by the chin. His fingers squeezed at my face. "So you gotta backbone now? We'll see what that gets you tonight," he shoved me back by my face laughing wildly as he got back into the car. All my papers and things spilled into the air as my person careened backward onto the dirt pavement. I cursed lowly at him as he sped away driving over my case, my lunch, and my things inside the case.

"Damn it," everything always ended badly with him. My tan pencil skirt had dirt marks on it. My things had screech marks from the car. My makeup smeared across my face. "Just fucking perfect," I muttered grabbing my damaged iPhone. I looked at my scattered things and sighed. He ran over my paper work for my job. I'm the new assistant for all the staff of La Push High. Had to get a new job since we just moved here a few days ago. But now I'm not sure I can even turn in this crap with it ruined like this.

"Is this yours?" A tan hand was outstretched toward me with a recommendation letter from my former boss explaining why I was fit for the job. I took the letter, moving my line of vision to the owner of the hand to utter my thanks of gratitude. Without it, I'd be screwed. I mean sure I got the job but the principal still wanted the real documents of my getting the job. Anyway, I couldn't really say anything because my breath was caught in the back of my throat. All I could really do was nod. The male holding my paper looked to be around eighteen or nineteen. He was beautiful, regardless, it was wrong that I would even think these thoughts. He is obviously a student here. I could get fired for even wanting to think about those hazel eyes. I shook my head feeling utterly stupid. You have a husband and children. You cannot go perving on hot students.

"Thanks," I managed to spit out softly collecting my stuff in a stray manila folder. My case was battered and torn apart, so there was no more use for it. I swiped a finger under my lips hoping to clean away any smudged lip stick when a warm finger did it for me. I smack the stranger's hand away when I felt a spark of something familiar jolt through my body. It was the way I used to feel when Jack touched me back in our college days. I'm twenty six fucking years old. I shouldn't feel this way about anyone except Jack, my husband. Hastily, I walked away from the male student and into the office section of the school building.

"Buffy, you mind taking this to Mr. Wright's room? It's note to bring Paul Porter to the office," Ananda said coming from Mr. Bitters' (the principal) office. Ananda was another assistant like me. She was a short woman with cropped cut dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. She seemed like a nice enough person to be my friend and be kept hidden from my husband.

"Sure, what's his number?" I ask standing up to smooth out my deep V neck button down blouse and my tan pencil skirt.

"Coming onto Mr. Wright, are we? I know he's handsome and all but," she wriggled her threaded brows at me. "Aren't you married?"

"Oh shut up," I slapped her wrist playfully, taking the note from her. "And yes. I am married," I said trying to sound the least bit happy.

"You sound so ecstatic about your marriage," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she pushed me out our office door room. "And Mr. Wright's room number is 211."

Apparently, Mr. Wright ran the Mechanics class on the second floor. This really wasn't in favor of my heels at all. And I also didn't want to be around a bunch of high school boys covered in grease. I entered the classroom taking in all the parts and gadgets making my way to the teacher's desk down the center aisle. Everyone seemed to be either working on something or chatting with their friends. The teacher, Mr. Wright, was in the middle of explaining something on the chalkboard about a carburetor. "Mr. Wright," I cleared my throat bringing the attention directly to me in the middle of the room. Mr. Wright looked beet red under his russet skin when finally focused on me. He scratched the back of his neck smearing chalk across it in the process. "Is there a Paul Porter here?" I felt awkward standing there with all them staring at me like I was a piece of meat, even the teacher. I hoped I am doing this right.

"That's me," I turned to the direction of the voice. It was the student who gave me my stuff earlier in the parking lot. Jesus. He was staring me in away that sent my nerves on haywire. "You're wanted in the office," I say exiting the shop room.

"So what's your name?" Paul asked walking beside me.

"Mrs. Uley."

"Can I have a first name? Ya know you are related to one of my friends," he shrugged smirking a little.

"Buffy is my name and whose your friend," I asked easing my way down the secondary floor steps.

"Sam Uley."

"He must be Jack's brother," I muttered thinking back as to when I met Jack's brother. Actually I've never met any of Jack's family just heard stories of them.

"Yeah," he said with a faraway look, "how exactly are you related to Sam, anyway?"

"Sam's brother is my husband."

"You mean the ass-wipe from this morning? That's Sam's brother," he seemed angry which ticked me off.

"Yes, that is my husband and he is not an ass-wipe," I lied through my hissing teeth. He was an ass-wipe and I didn't want to admit it but I needed him too.

"I saw what he did to you in the parking lot!"

"He was drunk and just playing around," I said walking toward the office entrance.

"That seemed a bit much to be playing around. He could've hurt you!"

"How about you shut the hell up? Because you obviously know nothing about my marriage. I'm twenty six fucking years old and I don't need some little boy telling me how to run my marriage or my damn husband."

"Buffy-"

"Don't call me Buffy either. It's Mrs. Uley. Get in the office," I snapped harshly.  
I don't know why I reacted so strongly against his accusation of Jack. He is completely correct about Jack being an asshole. I just couldn't accept it. I'd gotten used to it for the past few years. It was normal. Back when I met him at USC in California, he was the most sweetest and loving guy. Then we had the twins my sophomore year in college after he just graduated—in case you didn't know he's now 29 and I'm 26. We got married a few months later. I thought he was my soul mate. Then the beatings started into our fourth year of marriage and I loved him too much leave. Now, he's like my prison guard or punisher. I know I shouldn't be with him the way he treats me. But...but I need him and I can't live without him. I'm guess I'm too scared to leave. Scared of him. I shouldn't be but I can't help it. He's practically beaten the fighting spirit out of me.

Ananda picked up on my sour mood towards the end of the day. I just told her some kid hit on me. She told me these boys were idiots and I agreed. As the school day closed, Ananda offered me a ride home. I declined telling her Jack would be picking me up. Again she detected the underlying sadness in my voice and didn't come of sarcastic but quite concerned. At least she didn't find the fear. Who knows what could happen if I wasn't where he wanted me to be.

"Bye Buffy," Ananda called. "Pick you up tomorrow, yes?"

"Will see," I called back to her.

"You need to be free of that leash your man has you on, girl," she blew a kiss before getting in her Audi and driving away. She didn't know how right she was.

I dialed my phone for the third time calling Jack on the house phone and his cell phone. No answer. "You know if you need a ride, I'll give you one," Paul's voice came.

"I don't need a ride, okay? My husband's picking me up," I huffed calling his number back. Again.

"Right? I can tell from the answering machine you keep getting."

"Go do your homework or something," I muttered, feeling a blush creep into my face. I knew my husband had forgotten and stood me up.

"Okay c'mon," he said grabbing me by the wrist. "I'm taking you home."

"Hey! Let go of me!"

"No," he said simply with a grin.

"Why are you so keen on talking to and taking me home? Don't you have friends or something?" He laughed.

"Yes I have friends and-"

"Or are you one of those teenage boys who likes perving on the school faculty? If you are, I won't hesitate to call the cops on your ass!" I snapped trying to yank my arm away.

"Would you relax!" he chortled. "I'm trying to be a nice person by offering you a ride home and you won't listen or give me a chance!"

"Maybe it's the fact that getting into the car with a complete stranger is warding me off and you're a student here?" I blurted out. I don't know what he being a student has to with anything but it just flew out my mouth.

"You can get to know me in the car," he gave me a body shaking smile. "Now, let's go," he said dragging me into his old car.

"Wait," I started. "We have to pick up my kids." His eyes popped out his sockets. It's not like he's the father so I don't understand why he's so freaked out.

"You have kids?"

"Yeah, go to the Elementary School," I directed.

"How old are they?"

"Aiden and Aurora are twins. So seven," I smiled as the car approached the school. My babies were standing and conversing with a few kids. "There they are," I whispered with a small smile. "My babies," and this time I didn't whisper it but Paul did. I didn't know if he was reliving some past memory or something but I found it kind of creepy he was referring to my kids as his. He's still a damn child himself. I looked at him oddly, exiting the car feeling a bit weirded out.

"Mommy!" Aurora came bounding over to me happily leaving her brother taking to another little girl. "I had the best day today! I made friends with a lotta people and- and got good grades and Aiden got a girlfriend!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Aiden exclaimed latching on finger as his sister occupied the other, sucking her thumb all the while. "Girls are icky."

"I'm a girl. Am I icky?"

"No, mom. Moms are different from girls. Duh."

"Where's dad?" Aurora asked looking up at me.

"Daddy had to do something else. Mommy decided to get her own ride home."

"Is it the hot guy that keeps staring at you," I just stared. What the hell does my daughter know about hot men? She wasn't wrong though. Even if she's seven.

"C'mon," I rolled my eyes at them.

"Paul I'd like you to meet my pride and joys Aiden and Aurora," I said kissing the tops of their heads.

"Well at least I know where they get there good looks from," he squatted down to their level gazing up at me with a simple grin. It was small but racked my body with an unwanted pleasurable feeling. Get a grip, Buffy. "Hi, I'm Paul," he stuck both hands out to greet them with another playful smile.

"Hi! I'm Aiden!" "I'm Aurora!" They both shook his hands excitedly bursting with glee. They loved making new friends. "Wanna play with us..."  
They began playing some super heroes vs. villains game when my phone rang. Jack.

"Where the fuck are you?" He cursed at me through the phone. I can tell you this, he wasn't drunk anymore. A bunch of people were murmuring in the background.

"You didn't come pick me up so I had to get my own ride home," I spoke calmly. I know that if I were even let any ounce of anger seep through my voice he'd start yelling regardless of the company he had.

"Only because your ass wasn't outside at three like I told you!"

"I was Jack."

"Oh."

"Is that all you called me for, honey?"

"Get your ass to Sam's place."

"Where does-" I sighed hearing the phone click dead signaling the call had ended. "Such an idiot. I don't even know where the hell Sam lives!" I exclaimed throwing my arms up in exasperation.

"I do," Paul said to me prying my daughter away from biting his calf. He was apparently the bad guy of their little game. "They're friends of mine. I'm over there all the time."

"Mind giving me a ride?"

"I thought you didn't get into cars with a complete stranger," he smirked at me again, trying to fight a smile as he turned my own words against me.

"Well you're not a complete stranger now that you've interacted with my children," I said simply, helping buckle the kids into the back seat. I slipped into the front seat beside him. "Plus they seem to like you."

"I'm good with kids."

"At least you know you'll be a good father someday," I cast a glance at him.

"Yeah," he murmured looking slightly at me with a longing gaze, "hopefully."  
Paul had this odd beauty about him. He was unnaturally beautiful in many ways that I could probably never imagine. The way his short cropped raven hair whipped around as the wind pushed and pulled at it with the window as he drove his car had me in a damn trance. I couldn't help but stare. Stare at him. I could do that now. If I were on campus I'd probably get written up or something...but now I can. "What?" he smiled at me, catching me looking at him. Okay so maybe I can't look at him directly. Secretly maybe. Where's the harm in that?

"Nothing," I laughed lowly about how much of a teenage girl my mind was. I shouldn't be thinking about this kid at all. Let alone taking in his features.  
We pulled up to a little blue cottage with a mini garden in the front flowing with flowers. Paul grabbed my things for me and helped the kids and I out the car. Holding the door for us, he led us into the front part of a dining room. "Emily!"  
"In here," came a delicate voice from another room. He moved us to the kitchen where a slender woman in skinny jeans and a plaid blouse was slaving over a hot stove. "Hey Paul," she turned facing us with a have smile and scowl. The right side of her face marred with claw mark scars almost made me gasp. Such a beautiful girl could never have deserved such a thing. And I don't think she'd appreciate me pitying her. I wouldn't. People should with my emotional and physical scars. "Hi, I'm Emily," she greeted us with a smile again.

"I'm Buffy, Jack's wife," Paul visibly shook next to me with an intense look of rage on his face. "You okay? You don't look good. Are you sick, honey?" I can't help it if my maternal side comes out when something's wrong with anyone.

"I'm fine," he snapped at me angrily. Can you say bipolar? One minute he's all happy, and the next he's borderline furious.

"Oh, okay? Would you mind taking Aurora and Aiden to Jack for me? If he's here I mean?"

"Sure," he grumbled but took the twins softly by the hands and led them away.

"Is he always like this?" I turned back to Emily placing a hand on my hip. She'd been staring back and forth between us with a bright smile on her face.

"What? Temperamental?" I nodded.

"Yeah, all the boys have tempers but his is the worst."

"Boys? He's your son?"

"Oh, heavens no," she laughed graciously, "He might as well be though. And by boys, I mean the other ones who hang around here. They also go to school with Paul. Say how'd you even meet Paul?"

"Oh, I work at the school as an office assistant. Earlier this morning, Paul gave me a ride home from work since my husband forgot to," I shook my head, waving my hand off at my husband's mistake. "I'm positive Jack was too wasted to even remember."

"He drinks that early?"

"Sadly, if I try to stop him he reacts aggressively," I whisper rubbing the makeup coating the bruise on my neck. Snapping back from my dreadful memories, my eyes go to Emily's who's looking at me, well my neck in shock.

"Did he-"

"Don't say anything Emily. I'll only get worse for telling."

"But you can't let this go on! It isn't right! You deserve better!"

"Emily, its fine," I smiled sadly. "It's not like I can just leave him behind. I love him."

"If he loved you, he wouldn't treat you the way he does."

"You don't know anything about the way he treats me!"

"I know enough to put two and two together after seeing that."

"Just promise me you won't tell," God, I sound like such a scared and pathetic child. I'd been hiding this secret for years. Just barely telling this woman, I just met sends me into a paranoid fit thinking he might be in hearing distance. Have I really become that broken woman I always see in movies or TV who can't defend or speak up for herself because she's too afraid of her damn husband? Am I really that lady who doesn't want to tell anyone because of what could happen? Why am I this beaten female that can't leave her abusive husband? The question is why. Why am I afraid? What am I so afraid of? These questions also circle my mind when I think of breaking free. I can only ever figure one answer that I can't ever seem to get around.

"There you are." Him.

"Buffy and I were just talking about Jack," I exhaled relieved that it wasn't said topic. I didn't want to face him. But then again what's new? "This is Sam, my fiancé." Sam was a big guy, let me tell you. Bigger than Paul. Not that I've taken notice or anything like that.

"Are you sure Jack's related to you?" Sam wrapped his huge arms around her as I asked the question.

"You're related to my brother?"

"I'm his wife."

"You're his wife? The way he spoke to you on the phone earlier I thought you'd be some type of hooker or something. I see he's married a classy young lady." I blushed at his compliment.

"Oh Sam," Emily slapped him playfully on the arm. "Always the charmer."

"Jack's seems way different than Sam," I murmured. From behind Emily, Jack approached causing the beat in my chest to speed up, but not in excitement. Oh, god. I hope he hadn't heard me.

"Sam's always been different than me," Jack's gruff voice cause Emily to jump a bit. Sam wrapped a calming arm around his loved one's arm before he glared at his brother. Jack smacked his brother behind the head snapping it forward.

"Ain't that right, Sammy boy? You were always kind of a little gay!"

"Jack," I hissed softly, narrowing my eyes. "Stop it." I didn't care if he hurt me tonight because of it. Sam was considered my family too and I'll be damned if he'd treat a relative that way. Jack's eyes snapped fiercely to mine and gave me a hardened glare so steeled it looked blank. Underneath it, I could see the raged fire burning behind his coal like eyes.

"Buffy, it's fine—"

"We're leaving," Jack growled. His eyes bored into mine steadily. I knew that look. It was never a good one. "Get the kids."

"Buffy hasn't even met everyone yet—" Emily started but stopped when Jack stared blankly at her. Sam snarled at his brother making him take a step back. Pushing me forward with a bit of force, I was moved into the living room where Paul sat with my kids perched on his legs laughing wildly along with one other boy. I almost forgot about my situation when I looked on at the scene. They all seemed so happy and I hated to ruin especially because of the wrath of my husband. Abruptly, Paul's laughter stopped when his gaze landed on mine signaling everyone else to stop as well. Paul's friend stared at him and then me and back to Paul again with a hint of knowing each of his eyes and a large grin.

"It's time to go guys," I cooed softly. Aurora whined and latched onto Paul's forearm hoping it would keep her there while Aiden stayed stationed on the tip of Paul's knee; his arms crossed his chest as he shook his head no.

"We don't want to leave, Paulie!" Aurora cried, earning a few chuckles from the boys, whose name I had yet to learn.

"You can come back over later and play with your new friends—"

"Twin number one and Twin number two," Jack lumber forward jerking his thumb to the door. "Listen to me and your mom and get in the damn car. Now." Aiden grudgingly slid off his bigger friend's knee while his younger sibling by two minutes whispered something in Paul's ear before coming and grabbing my hand much like Aiden had done. The high school boys' eyes all snapped to mine sympathetically and then to Jack retreating back looking completely murderous.

Before I could turn around, I faced Paul and thanked him for all he'd done for me today not looking him in the eye. Whatever my daughter had said alerted both Paul and his friend and it had something to do with Jack. Jack, hearing this grabbed me by the elbow and steered me roughly to our car. He propped the door open and leaned down near my ear. "You're lucky we're at my brother's place. But don't worry. I'll deal with you at home."

"What you said in there was wrong! He's your brother and you should treat him that way," I mumbled lowly during the car ride.  
"He's my brother and I treat him however the fuck I want. What you did in there was make me look like an ass." Aiden and Aurora had fallen asleep in the back, so they couldn't hear our fight. Jack stopped the car in front of our home with me carrying the twins.  
"Trust me. You did that on your own." My heeled feet clicked away from bringing my person upstairs and to the kids room. I changed them from their school clothes and to their pjs, tucked them in, and kissed their foreheads a 'goodnight' lovingly. I could barely get out the room before a hand came at the base of my neck wrapping tightly around it. The door shut behind me and my back slammed against the wall. A groan made its way from the deepest part of my diaphragm coming out strangled.  
"I told you, you'd have something when you came home."

**A/N: did ya like it? Should i continue? I promise not to get to graphic with the beatings and trust me—the plot and Buffy will get better.**  
**By the way, imagine Buffy as Nicki Minaj with a short black bob and blue eyes. Ananda should be imagined as Hayden Penitier (however you spell her last name)**


	2. The Legends

**Hey my fellow readers,**

**Thanks for staying tuned with this story even if it's a tad bit dark themed. If you reviewed, I thank you for that. If not, then review I say! It isn't that bad. Is it? Naaah.**

**Enjoy,**

**-Squid:)**

Waking up, I noticed my body was sprawled out near the foot of the bed. An intense pain ran up my stiff joints as I picked myself off the floor of our bedroom. I expected something worse when I walked to the mirror to take in my appearance and was quite surprised I didn't get it. My face was undamaged and as was my body apart from my neck. Bruises in the shape of large fingers were there and they spasm with pain when I touched them. I bit back tears, trying to gain some composure if he were to reappear again and flog me more—trying to convince myself that one day this'll stop. One day this'll get better. I let one sob escape at the sound of my husband's snoring from behind. It only reminded me of the life I had to live in secret.

I changed out of my clothes and put on a short, cotton night gown. For the past few years, I never felt the need to wear sexy lingerie for Jack anymore. He rarely paid attention to me and when he did, it happened when he's wasted. It's not like he cared what I looked like. All I am, to him, is worthless even though it didn't start that way.

My attention got drawn to the open window by the bedside. Walking over to it, I peered out looking through the break of the trees seeing the night sky. I sighed, basking in the nocturnal wild life and listened to how easygoing nature seemed to be even if it wasn't a person. Nature always balanced itself out with the virtuous and the debauched. It got to toss out whatever corrupted its equilibrium and live on peacefully. If only life were that simple. My elbow rested itself on the windowsill and my eyes cast themselves low to edge of the grassed wood. Barely past my line of vision, something shifted near the tree line, making my eyes squint to see what it was. I leaned out further catching a glimpse of a huge paw retreating out of the forest. The head of something I couldn't make out that well—also bear-sized—emerged after it. Fierce and intelligent, hazel eyes met my startled, sapphire ones causing me to gasp at the intensity. I bolted from the master bedroom, practically threw myself down the stairs, and out the back door hoping to catch a peek at the creature. It was a stupid, careless move but the animal had me fascinated.

The leaves and grass crunched under my bare feet as I crept toward the trees. The large outline of the animal still visible. As I got closer, the animal crouched back revealing a silver paw. "It's okay big guy," I murmured slowly walking to it. I didn't want to frighten it. "I won't hurt y'." It crawled into view on its belly. It was a silver wolf maybe the size of a bear or a horse. The animal was massive and I knew it could hurt me but by the submissive position it was in I figured it wouldn't. He—I'm deeming it a he because he's not a thing and he seems like a 'male'—raised his head when I stooped next to his body. Its body was covered with a soft-looking, silver fur. Hesitantly, I stuck my hand out and ran my fingers through his fur. I smiled widely at the native beast as he purred, feeling the smoothness of it thread between my fingers. Its head shook slightly and hit the bruises on my neck. Causing me to hiss, I scooted away from the animal clutching my injury Jack inflicted on me. The hefty creature narrowed its eyes at me, swung its head to look at my house, back at me, and then started growling.  
When an animal, especially one that size, starts snarling, it's time to run. And that's exactly what I did. I scurried back into the house, locking all the doors behind me and barricaded myself inside my children's room. I sat down on their little couch and listened to raged howl pierce the night air.

…

"Mom."

"Mommy, wake up!" I groaned inwardly feeling my back crack against their furniture.

"I'm up. I'm up," I mumbled. I cracked open one eye seeing Aurora's toothy grin. I got up and pulled her onto my hip, bouncing her as we made our way to her closet. She giggled happily enjoying her ride. Aiden ran around my legs and started tossing his clothes out.

"Are we still going to the beach today?" he asked. Oh, yeah. It's Saturday.

"Of course—" Before I could finish my sentence, Aurora jumped from my arms and joined her brother with searching for swimsuits while trying to get other clothes on.

"Yay!" I grabbed them by their pj's collars.

"Hold on, guys. You aren't going anywhere until you bathe."

"Awe man." "Do we have to?"

"Yeah! My kids won't smell funky."

"But, I'm a boy. Dad says I'm supposed to smell bad. It's a guy thing."

"Ignore that. Smelly boys will not be allowed in my house." I tugged Aiden's pajama shirt back down and did the same to his sister. "Now, go eat some breakfast while I run your bath." I tapped them on their back and sent them on their way. After I had my own shower, applied water proof foundation to the bruised areas, and changed into my swim gear (a pink ruffled bikini top and boy shorts under a baggy white t-shirt, jean shorts and sandals), I ran their water. The pitter-patter of their feet echoed into the bathroom when they scampered in. I washed them of yesterday's grim and dressed them their choice of swimsuit. I grabbed the keys to my house and ushered them out. "C'mon guys! Out!"

Together my kids and I skipped happily joking around to First Beach down the street. The minute the beach waves hit our ears they took off running across the sand and splashing in the water. I watched them play, setting up our towel. "Buffy!" I turned in the direction of the cliffs hearing Emily's voice. Her skinny body jogged and met me in a hug.

"Hey Emily. When'd you get here?" I dusted sand off my front and backside.

"We've been here all morning cliff diving." She slicked back her ebony bangs, revealing part of her scarred face and pointed to the top of the cliff where a lone figure stood prepping to jump. At my bewildered look she laughed. "Don't worry. It's recreational and safe."

"You do that for fun? It looks terrifying!" I watch the person flip forward off the edge, screaming as he went down.

"It is if you're not used to it. And it's not just me. All the boys do it. You should try it."

I shook my head and laughed nervously. "Oh, no. That isn't happening anytime soon." Seemed the jumpers also caught the attention of my children too. They were cheering and clapping ecstatically.

"Even if Paul did it with you?" I started at why she had insinuated it would be better with Paul. Anything would be better with Paul, my mind reminded me, giving me the mental image of us standing atop the cliff edge. His warm arms are wrapped around my waist with my body pressed flush against his as he whispers soothing words to calm my fears of jumping. It almost made me want to do it. Mentally shaking my mind of that vision, I returned back to Earth feeling a blush creep on my face much to the delight of Emily.

"What does he have to do with anything," I softly inquired. The redness coating my face wasn't that visible due to my mocha complexion but I could feel it there nonetheless.

"Paulie!" Speak of the devil. Deep laughter boomed down the beach and kids raced towards the pack of boys sopping wet.

"_Paulie?!_" Paul's friends exclaimed, keeling over with guffaws at the nickname my kids gave. Paul rolled his eyes in annoyance with a slight smirk. They kept up with the teasing, not seeming to care their friend looked a bit more than pissed off.

"Made some new friends there, Paulie?"

"Shut the fuck up, Jake," Paul growled, balling his fists up tensely. His body shook.

"No cursing around my kids, Paulie." I don't know what made me say 'Paulie' but it seemed to calm him down. Paul's posture loosened when he looked at me and a goofy grin replaced his look of vexation with his hazel eyes brightening. His right hand started to fiddle with his cut-off's pockets as his other scratched the back of his head. Sheepishly, he smiled at me and then at Aurora, noticing her trying to reach his shoulders. He complied with her demands to be lifted upon his muscled shoulders and held her in place.

"Sorry, Mrs. Uley." I smiled at his formality.

"You only have to call me that in the workplace. Buffy's fine." Out the corner of my eye, Emily smiled again and more brightly. The bulky boys glanced between the three of us. They finally looked at Paul. He nodded to them, blushing, as if to confirm something. Their confusion melted into knowing smirks.

The buffest one quirked a brow at Emily. "Did we miss something in the pass few hours?"

She shook and bopped her head as if remembering something. "Oh, I almost forgot. Boys, this is Buffy Uley. She's Sam's brother's wife. Buffy meet Jacob, Embry, Quil, Jared, and Seth. You already know Paul." They all shared the same distinctive traits (and all were shirtless): cropped-cut, raven hair; a russet complexion; and bulging muscles. Jacob was by the far the buffest and biggest one out of the group even though all were probably over 6' 7" feet tall. Embry had a lanky body along with Seth. Quil and Jared were a little on the pudgy side but still packin'.

"I didn't know Sam had a brother," the gangly one, Embry said, looking around his group of friends for validation. "Did you guys just get married?" I shook my head.

"No, we got married seven years ago while we were still in college and these two trouble makers,"—I gestured to Aurora picking at Paul's hair and Aiden building a sand lair around the guy's feet—"are the product of said marriage."

Quil's stocky body stepped up beside Paul making gestures at me kids. "You're saying that these are yours?" I nodded. Didn't I just say that? Quil smirked and smacked Paul hard on his chest with the back of his hand. "Y' up for takin' care of kids, Paulie?" All smirked amusedly and knowingly, except for Paul, Emily, and Seth, as if sharing some private joke. Paul, again looked ready to bust a vein before he relaxed.

I raised a raven brow. "What's he talking about?"

Before Paul could say anything, Quil cut him off again. "Paul, here, kept telling us last night how much he loves kids and," he dragged out, "you have kids."

"I'm not following you," I told him.

"Paul said wants to take care of your kids—"

"What! I never said that!" Paul barked at him. His comment affected me more than it should have. Why should I care if he wanted to take care of my kids or not? If I did, I'd be giving myself false hope.

"Paul, you're just a kid yourself. I don't expect you to babysit my own," I reassured him.

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't though," he prattled off quickly. "I'd take care of you—of your kids, I mean; if you want me to, I would—"

"Paul—" I tried interrupting him.

"Do you want me- Would you like for me to- uh, watch your kids sometimes?"  
I tried it a second time, but louder, to stop his nervous ranting. It was actually kinda cute. At least, I knew he cared enough to do it and I could tell stammering was not his normal behavior by the field day his friends were having over it.

"Paul—"

"I'll be like an all-time kid watcher. No harm will come to them I swear!"

"Paul!" He stopped, his eyes wildly staring me down with the intensity to protect burning fiercely.

"Huh?"

"No need to freak out, okay? You wanna be their babysitter? You can be."

"Seriously?"

"Well, why not? They already feel comfortable around you and like you." I smiled, shielding my eyes from the sun rays beating down on us.

"Now that Paul's stopped babbling like an idiot, can we go back to cliff diving?" Jared elbowed his pal playfully before taking off for the cliffs. Seth followed his example.

"Yeah," Paul snorted, staring back at the parking lot. "Now, that the leech lover's here the party can get begin," he sneered sarcastically. The sound of a rumbling engine finally reached my ears as an orange pickup pulled into the lot. How the hell did he hear that? It just pulled up.

"What the hell did I say about calling her that?" Jacob snapped, running off to go meet said person in the truck. And leech lover? What's that about?

"You should go do it with them," Emily encouraged me. She threw pointed glances at Paul, who was too preoccupied at prying hands away from his hair and trying to get his feet from buried under the sand. "I'll even watch Aiden and Aurora while you do it."

Embry walked over to me, resting an elbow on my shoulder because I was that short. "C'mon, girl. Live a little!" I sighed with an eye roll. Aurora slid off Paul's back and began making her own sand castle. "You don't want to look like a wuss in front of kids do y'?"

"Yeah, Ma!" Aiden joined in with Embry. "Don't be such a wuss!" Oh, dear lawd. They're already being influenced by them.

"Embry!"

He just shrugged, nonchalantly grinning. "Hey, they speak the truth."

"Uh. Fine! I'll go already. Happy?" I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the towel followed by my shorts after I shimmy them off. I kicked my sandals away and met the eyes everyone around me. "What?" I don't know why the guys looked so baffled. Emily cast me a smirk as if it were obvious. My body wasn't anything special. I had small C cup boobs and a fat ass. My own husband didn't like my body and if he didn't, why would any other guy.

Quil and Embry eyes traveled up and down my legs and ogled my hips. Paul gazed at me differently from the others. His hazel eyes burned with a passionate lust and hunger that threatened a tingle to spread through my body. The thing was—he wasn't even moving. He just stood staring intensely biting his lip on occasion as his eyes roamed over me. It made me rouge like mad. He simpered barely, as if sensing how I felt and shook his head. "Can we get this over with already?" I asked since no one answered my previous question.

Without hesitation, the rest of boys (Jacob's still with the mystery person and Jared and Seth are already at the top) raced to the top of the cliff leaving Paula and I to stroll to our destination. From the corner of my eye, I glanced at Paul taking in this god-like boy/man beside. I tried doing this yesterday and he'd caught me. Maybe he knows I'm doing it now and for my benefit he's remaining silent than calling me out on it. Like the day before, his hair tugged and pulled with the wind at the top as the sun beat down on his skin creating a sun-kissed glow that almost had me mesmerized. He was a tall and statured creature and I felt like a scientist tried to figure out what he and what attracted me to this being. Was it how he cared and the way he held himself; so confident. Or was it just his looks. But I knew that couldn't be it. Something deeper had enticed me to his person. That brought me to another thing—

"Paul?" We'd just made our way into the heavily wooded area and were on the trail leading to the top of the ledge. I turned to look at him and found him already looking at me. My face again, burned with redness, not expecting him to be that close to me. I shielded my face a bit trying to hide my blush of either embarrassment or some other emotion I couldn't place.

"Why do you do that?" I could hear the puzzlement in his voice.

"Do what?" I stepped lithely on the ground over fallen branches, keeping up the slow pace we had going.

"You hide your face from me." I smoothed my hair out of my face and showed my face to him again. His was contorted in worry. "Do I make you nervous?"

"No- It's just that you startle me sometimes and I blush easily," I replied truthfully. His face smoothed out into amusement. We continued our trek through the woods with him slightly leading.

"I don't mean to startle you." I smiled at him and he returned it.

"I know that. You're just an intimidate—" I yelped when my body suddenly lurched as my foot got caught under a tree root. I expected to land harshly shoulder first onto the ground when Paul's arms wound themselves tightly around my waist and pulled my body against his to keep me from falling. "Oh!" I pressed a hand to calm my heart and leaned into his hold. I craned my neck and smiled at him, feeling my face redden once more today. "Thank you," I breathed out.

He stiffly shook his head. "It was no problem," he murmured again, going into that stare he had once I first took off my covering earlier. "Y' know, you have really beautiful eyes."

"Really?" Again, my eyes weren't anything special either. They're sapphire. "I mean, they're just eyes."

"No, they're deep like the ocean and I keep getting lost in them," he whispered bringing his face closer; his eyes sliding shut. I could feel the warmth of his breath as his mouth got closer. I could almost feel them. I wanted to feel them—to feel how soft they were, how full they were. In an instant i wanted his mouth on mine. On me. And in that instant...i snapped back to reality when i realized what was about to transpire. His lips almost descended upon mine before I stepped out his hold, alarmed.

"Paul, you can't kiss me." His eyes flashed open in an instant, blazing with anger and hurt. He stepped closer and backed me into the tree I'd recently tripped over. He placed his right hand above my head. He looked pained.

He growled. He actually growled. "Why can't I?"

"I'm married, remember."

"No, you're not married." I was baffled!

"How can you tell me that I'm not married? I have legal papers stating that—"

"Exactly, you have legal papers saying that. But, emotionally and physically, you're not married especially to that asshole! You shouldn't have to live a lie like—"

"You don't know what kind of life I'm living!"

He smirked sadly. "Your own daughter told me yesterday that 'daddy likes to play really rough with mommy'." I looked down ashamed that my own daughter had to come to my rescue when I couldn't save myself. I'd kept the secret for so long, too afraid to tell anyone because of what Jack might do. Then we move here and within a week, two people already know my dark secret that I can't control.

A stray tear streamed down my face. "Well, what would you have me do? If I tell someone, he's come after me. If I try to get away from him, he'll come after me still. Anything I do will result in me being battered which is why I just don't ever do anything to get in trouble with him okay? I don't have a solution to my problems and I've just given up!"

"Maybe I'm the solution," he murmured getting slower as he wiped the stray tear away with the pad of his right thumb. "Please, just let me help you."

"Paul, I don't—"

"Please."

"Why do you want to help me so badly?"

"That's something you'll know in time." Was all he said to me.

…

My head bobbed out the water taking in my first breath after Paul and I plunged into the sea. The sun had set doing the jump most of the day. We spent it with my kids and his friends and emily, all getting to know each other better. The act of cliff diving was exhilarating. It was a rush of cold air mixed with the sharp sting of the water engulfing your body as you land. Bobbing up for air had to be the most refreshing thing after that. I laughed, slicking back my short bobbed hair from my face and squinted at Paul. He laughed along with me, pulling the front of my body against his as he sat there drifting and basking in each other's presence.

"That was…"

"Invigorating?" He tried for me, smirking a bit.

"Yeah," I said. I wiped some water that splashed me in the face away. I craned my neck towards the beach. A pillar of smoke drifted up from the fire that had just been lit. "We should get back."

"And here I thought you were enjoying my company." I waded out of his hold, swimming to shore.

"I'd rather not spend time with someone in the middle of the ocean."

"So you enjoyed doing this? With me?" His smile kept getting bigger and bigger despite the salty water splashing on our faces.

"Just to boost your little ego up," I started, stepping out the water. My bangs got in my face again, so I slicked them back. "Yes, I had a great time." He slung a beefy arm around my shoulders and took us towards the others. A girl had joined them on the sand and stood awkwardly next to Jacob. Her dark brunette hair contrasted harshly against her pasty white skin. She looked odd and awkward standing next to the monstrous sized boy, Jacob, almost like she was hiding behind him. She looked nervous. Jake threw his arm over her, bringing her boyish body into view.

"Buffy, I'd like you to meet Bella Swan. Bella, this is Buffy Uley, Sam's brother's wife," He made a gesture with a large meaty hand to introduce me.

"Uh...hi. I didn't, uh, know Sam had a brother," she stammered, shifting her eyes around until she settled on me. She pursed her lips and pressed herself closer to Jake's side.

"Yeah, it's no wonder either. He's a fucking piece of shit."

I glared at Paul and slapped him hard on the shoulder. The feeling of hitting his shoulder was unpleasant and it felt like I hit a brick brick wall with my fist. I grimaced, clutching my hand to my chest, narrowing my eyes at him. "Don't talk about my husband that way," I hissed. It was a habit to defend my husband even if he didn't deserve any nice thing I did for him.

Worry flickered across his face before it was replaced with irritation, which made me instantly feel bad because of the hurt I'd caused. Paul shrugged his arm away from the shoulders and stomped over towards the bonfire and the picnic tables set full of food. I watched him throw food onto his plate as the deep rumbles of his voices carried over to us.

I began to grumble to myself, the ache of my hand disappearing slowly. "What the hell are you made of anyway?"

"Wow." I hadn't noticed that while I stared at Paul, Jacob had left Bella over by me while he roughhoused with his friends. I turned to look at the pale person in front of me. The look of shock and confusion flitted across.

"What?"

She shook her head and cast her eyes down as if to reevaluate her thoughts. She opened her mouth to speak again. "It's just...I don't understand. You're not even a native and you managed to piss him off."

"Understand what? Huh?" She wasn't making any since.

"Never mind. You don't know what I'm talking about," she muttered and walked over to a log to sit and be warmed by the campfire.

And for some reason Paul's words rang in my head once more. _That's something you'll know in time._

…

For the past few hours, we sat around the fire listening to the stories and legends of the Quiluete Tribe. New people had joined us, such as my husband Jack, Leah and Seth Clearwater, their mother, Sam, Collin, and Brady. Much to the disappointment of Paul, Jack had hoisted me off the log where I sat next to Paul, sat down in my seat and placed me on his lap. I could feel the piece of driftwood beneath my husband shaking because Paul was and he seemed more pissed off than before. However, I subtly brushed my finger against his own to calm him down. He looked at me. Hazel eyes blazing with desire, frustration, anger and longing. I sighed softy, casting my eyes away.

Jacob, or Jake's, dad Billy had rolled himself near the center of the pit so that he could see all as he told the legends of his people. The tales were magnificent and broaden my knowledge of where Jack came from—and made me wonder how Jack came to be such a...such a dickhead if he came from such a humbled background and proud people. I became enthralled with the stories of the story of the Third Wife and her sacrifice, and Quiluete spirit warriors, and the Cold Ones. I imagined the wolves and how they protected their people from danger.

Wolves.

I recalled the massive, silver wolf from last night remembering the submissive position it was in; How calm it was to me; and those intelligent eyes—familiar intelligent hazel eyes that reminded me of Paul's. Maybe the wolf was some sort of protector like the legends say; like there may be more here to watch over the tribe. Maybe I imagined the whole thing last night and there is no wolf.

_Maybe_.

**A/N: so, are you enjoying this shit because it's really hard to write lol. I've got a lot of graphic shit planned for future chapters. So tell me guys, yay or nay?**

**Please tell me in a review! Massive thank you to all who do:D!**

**Later gators,**

**-Squid:)**


	3. Heaven

**Hey there,**

**I'm so glad everyone's liking it so far. Massive thank you for reviewing, my lovelies. Here's another chappie for ya.**

**Yours truly,**

**-Squid:)**

I stared at the broken woman in the mirror in front of me, crying, watching her cry. Her cheek had bruise forming on it and her neck had thick fingerprints wrapped around, making the skin look more pinkish and darker than her complexion normally was. A sob tore through my throat and a shudder ran down her tense neck as we checked other out. Multiple bruises covered the skin covering her rib cage, some being blocked by her black-laced bra. We both grasped our thighs, feeling and wincing at the scratches around the hip area. It hurt to touch. I could tell by the way our faces crumbled at the slightest grazing. It hurt to move. It fucking hurt to inhale. I felt like suffocating at the sight before me. I felt torn and delicate. I wanted to shatter into a million pieces. Another wretched sob racked my body as I accepted the woman, the fragile woman in the reflection was me. Why was this person me? What did I do to deserve this?

Why did my husband hate me? What have I done?

My lip trembled. My eyes were blue marbles in a pool of blood, whiteness and tears. The heat surrounding me in my bathroom made my sleek raven hair stick my head with sweat. My fists clenched at my sides as I tried to hold back my cries. Slowly, I sank to my knees reaching for the floor, grasping for something to hold. Just bawling. I emitted a stressed and breathy screech and squeezed my eyelids shut...I wanted to disappear. I wanted to not live the life I lived. I didn't want to be this way. I hate this! I hated Jack! I hated my marriage! I shot up from my feeble position on the green tiled floor and punched the glass mirror out of pure ire. I gasped, still crying out of rage and pain because my hand cut itself on the glass. I sunk to the floor once more, tears down my face and clutching my bleeding hand to my chest. Blood smeared across my cleavage and the top lacy part of my black bra. I sniffled snot back into my noise and let out a loud sob. "Why?" I cried out almost inaudibly.

The door to the bathroom immediately swung open as soon as I uttered those words. I whimpered, scooting as far away as possible from the door and to the farthest wall of the bathroom. I feared my husband had heard me and my emotional and mental breakdown and had come to punish me some more. I could hear his footsteps cautiously approaching me. My eyes were shut so do I see what it he does but I know he'd changed his position and was in close proximity to me. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Please don't hurt me, Jack. I didn't mean to wake you! I'm so sorry." My lips were trembling as I got no response. A hand placed itself over my bleeding one and caressed the small cuts. It was a delicate gesture and the hand was scorching. It was too hot for Jack's hand... I unclenched my watery eyes and saw Paul kneeling in front of me. My eyes were widened with shock while his searched my body for other injuries. His hands moved from mine to place themselves on my shoulders in order to stop my body from shaking. I could feel my chest heaving as I tried to stifle my sobs. Paul's eyes never left my face, begging for me to say something. I couldn't. I was scared. I was afraid if I said anything...I'd break into gasps and sobs. The nineteen year old used his right thumb to draw patterns on my skin while the other traveled to cup my cheek. His left thumb wiped my tears from my cheek. A sob tore through me.

"Are you okay?" he murmured, moving his right hand to cup the other cheek. He continued wiping my tears away. I took in his appearance for the first time. He looked liked he'd just come from a run in the woods. Leaves and twigs stuck out from his raven tousled and cropped hair making him look like wild man. He was a dirty boy with the smell of fresh wood and dew on him. It suited him well. I got to his chest and stared wondering how such a rugged body belong to such a young man before returning my gaze to his hazel orbs. He seemed to not mind me ogling him and was more than worried. "Buffy." I must've zoned out. I felt my eyes coming back into focus. I blinked sluggishly and glanced at him. "Baby. Please, answer me." His voice was low but urgency pierced through quite clearly.

"Are you okay?"

I looked down and up at him and again on the verge of crying more. "No," was all I said and my voice had cracked too. His face was calm but his eyes were livid. It terrified me more because Paul was bigger than Jack and could do more damage to me if I said something wrong. "I'm sorry," I cast my eyes down not being able to take the intensity of his eyes.

His arms embraced me, pulling me into a snug hug. I hissed at the pressure and. He relented a little still keeping me in an embrace. "Don't apologize. You don't need to apologize. You don't. You haven't done anything wrong. I scared you because of how furious I was, because what that fucking asshole did to you. If anyone should be sorry, it's him." He slipped an arm under my legs and carried me bridal style out my bathroom. I clung to him, gliding my uninjured fingers across one of his pecks. The rhythm of his heartbeat pounded in my ears as did the silence of the house. He carried me down the stairs as quiet as a church mouse and into the kitchen. He placed me on the countertop and began rummaging through my cabinets looking for items. I watched him pull out numerous first aid kit supplies when I thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Paul?" I fiddled with my fingers before glancing at him on my right. He looked so...stern. "Why are you here?"

He opened his mouth and closed it with his eyebrows raised. His face became crestfallen and he stopped his work. "I want to protect you, especially from Jack. I want to be around you...always. I- I can't really explain it yet. Do- do you want me to leave?"

I shook my head. I felt safe with him around. More safe than normally do in my own home. "No, I mean, why are you here...in my house...at four am?"

Realization dawned on him as he cleaned up my wounds on my hands. "I was taking a run through the woods and came in through the back door when I heard something break and your screams." A humored smirk graced his face as if he were sharing a hidden joke and I wasn't in on it. I eyed him suspiciously but accepted his answer nonetheless.

"Let me see your other scratches," he mumbled huskily, his eyes trailing all over my body and landing on my lastly on my thunder thighs. Feeling self-conscious, I shielded them with my hands as disgust for my ugly body made its way to my self esteem. Paul removed my hands. "Let me see them, please. You're beautiful, alright? Don't ever hide your body from me." I shakily nodded seeing his hands move mine out the way. He leaned over so that his lips hovered over my mocha thighs. The heat of his breath sent tingles all throughout my body in which I hadn't felt in years. He spread them and kissed the inside of my right thigh softly, where a bruise lay. He then kissed up and down my left thigh tenderly, ever-so nipping at my skin. My body shuddered slightly, making him smile on my upper thigh and gaze up heatedly. My heart was pounding. My chest and lungs took deep breaths. And with each nip, I seemed to become hotter. He came up—smolder in place—and scooted my body closer to his with his hands firmly planted him my wide and curvy hips. He leaned in closer, eyes flitting from my lips to my sapphire eyes. He licked his lips before inching his lips closer and pressing them against mine. They were soft and plump and hot. They were perfect. It felt like they fit my mouth perfectly. I felt whole for once in my life. He made me feel whole. They were simply...heaven. Hell, he was.

He stopped kissing me but still kept his lips on mine. I sighed into his mouth and wrapped my legs around his waist. My hands made their way around, exploring his chiseled chest, toned torso, defined v-line, and back up. One of his hands rubbed one of my thighs and he kissed me harder this time. I could feel the effects of it all over my person. My body felt weak under his touch. I was heated from my core and wanted to melt into a puddle of horny goo. He dipped his head to trail butterfly kisses down my jawline and my neck. He reached the base of my neck and sucked on the vein. He bit down sending rocketing shots of pleasure down to my core, my muscles, my brain...my everything. I threw my head back and let out a moan. Immediately, I unwound my legs from his waist and pushed Paul off my body, much to his surprise and mine, all the while covering my mouth with my hands and my eyes as wide as saucers. Paul's face expressed hurt, stun, and appeared to be flustered. He was standing a few feet away from the counter and I had backed away from him.

I couldn't look at him, especially after I pushed him away. "I'm sorry, Paul. I can't do this." I shifted uneasily, covering my body with my arms.

I looked up quickly as he took one giant step to reach me. He looked beyond irritated, upset, confused and hurt. "What do you mean you can't do this? Did you not feel the same thing I felt just a few minutes ago? Did we not experience the same thing? I clearly remember you moaning."

I shook my head, shame gracing my features. "No, I felt it too. It was wrong, though. I don't want to feel this way while I'm married. Paul, I just did something wrong," I stressed. "I cheated on my husband and with a minor who attends a school I work for. I could be fired of anyone found out. On top of that, I cheated on my husband in my own house! I have a family Paul! I have to take care of them! Oh my god, I'm an idiot."

I looked at Paul seeing him conflicted. "Buffy," he said softly, taking my body in his arms again, "you're not an idiot and trust me, I can help provide for your family. Have faith in me, please. Baby, please?" I looked up as he gave me puppy dog eyes and gave in.

"Fine," I muttered, knowing I might regret this later. "Don't call me baby and don't tell anyone either. Okay?" He didn't answer. He only kissed me and grinned before bounding out the back door to my house. I followed him and watched him sprint into the woods. It was raining outside and his form was shimmering. Then he was gone in the thick forest. I sighed. "What have I gotten myself into?"

…

"Wow," Ananda sputtered out in a laugh. "You were that mad at your husband that you broke a mirror? I'm impressed." I told my coworker a false story as to what happened this morning. She thinks that my husband did something stupid and I reacted by throwing a mirror at him. She thought it was pretty ballsy.

We walked through the long corridor of the high school, heading towards the cafeteria. It was around 12:30pm, which meant lunch time for everyone. She had on nice skirt suit today in a vibrant green, which suited her petite figure nicely, and a pair of black pumps. She reminded me, and the rest of our coworkers, of a granny smith apple. We all had a good laugh off that the first few hours of the day. I had on a thigh length form fitting dress in a dull pink color with a black belt around my waist and black pumps as well. Ananda seemed to think I stole her thunder when it came to my shapely body. Apparently, she used to be the only female worker with a nice one until my curves took over.

We entered the cafe, Ananda first since she knew the way around the school. Automatically, I spotted Jake, Embry, Seth, Jared, a slender girl under his arm, Quil, and lastly Paul. I turned and followed my friend, watching them from the corner of my right eye. Paul was watching me like a hawk and his friends were playfully pushing him and trying to gain his attention back. He wasn't even trying to be seductive and his gaze still made me feel hot all over. I ignored him and continued to follow Ananda even though I could feel a pair of eyes watching my every move. She helped me pick out which foods were good at the cafeteria and which foods and drinks had gone bad already. As I reached out my bandaged hand to pick up a Caesar salad, another hand, a familiar one picked it up for me.

"Here ya go," his deep voice rumbled as he stared down at me, smirking sexily and cockily. It drove me wild.

Irritated by the effect it had on me, I took it away from him, without looking him dead in the eye. I'd crumble if I did. "Thank you," I said politely.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Uley," he purred in my ear, caressing my back and my rear as he left to join his table. He glanced back at me with a eye-fucking once over and a crooked smile. I shifted my vision to his table, they were all laughing; him still gazing heavily at me.

"Sweet baby Jesus," I muttered to myself. Ananda glanced from the cashier to me.

"Are you okay over there? It sounds like you were doing a prayer," she snorted. I chortled along with her.

"Girl, I need prayer."

_Yes, help me lord. Help me._

**A/N: yay or nay? Sorry it was so short! I promise to post longer ones!**

**Leave me a review guys! Please! I live for them and they give me the power to write!**

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**-Squid:)**


	4. Free

**I'm back!**

**Hope you people are enjoying this so far. It's not as easy to write as I'd thought it'd be. Here's another one for ya!**

**Love,**

**-Squid:)**

"So..." Ananda started leaning casually against her desk from across mine. Her eyes sparkled with mischief as her mouth stretched into a grin. "Tell me. What's his name?"

I was puzzled by the question. "What do you—"

She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "Don't play dumb! You've got on a white blazer with your tits bursting out. Your cleavage is also looking quite lovely in the floral corset you've got on and you clearly want to show off that ass of yours and those legs because you've got in skintight, sky blue jeggings and sky blue heels that are probably four inches tall. Your husband obviously isn't here for you to show off this dazzling look of yours. So, c'mon on girl. Who do you have your eye on here?"

Was it really that obvious that I was trying to impress Paul? I wasn't trying to expose all my goods to him, just tease him a little bit. Was I really that fucking desperate to be doing this? He's still in high school and I'm trusting him with this. It was his idea to do this and I agreed to it without hesitation. I mean I am still married and technically I'm cheating on my husband. _However, he is beating me senseless so that has to justify my infidelity, right?_ Bringing myself out of my thoughts, I smirked at my co-worker and crossed my right leg over the other in my chair. "Who said I had my eye on someone? I could be dressing like this just because I decided to embrace the fashionista in me." _Smooth, Buffy, real smooth._

"You really expect me to believe that?" She folded her arms over her bosom giving me a humored and doubted look. "You've got on your falsies mascara. A woman only uses that when she's trying to be sexy, impress someone, or make other women envy her. Which one is it girl?"

"Why—" I stopped short, feeling a warm finger tap the back of my hand and the throat cleared. I swiveled my chair to face the inside of my desk and felt my face flush scarlet. Paul stood in front of me in a form-fitting, gray v-neck shirt and dark wash jeans. He was staring at me again. And it was the same stare. The one that felt like his hazel eyes were looking in my soul. It was the one that made panties feel wet whenever I was around him. It made me feel self-conscious. _Great. _I bit my lip, shifting my eyes away from him and to my friend as she smirked and cocked a brow at my hesitation. "Good afternoon, Paul. How may I help you?" I asked him, keeping my gaze on my friend for a fraction of a second before turning toward the towering and hulking figure in front of me.

I rested my arms on the desk in front of me and folded my hands. His eyes traveled from my face to my cleavage. He hungrily stared, biting his full bottom lip, and completely ignoring my death glare as Ananda watched us. I cleared my throat loudly. "Paul." His eyes flickered back to my eyes and the careless simper of his fell back into place. "Was there something you wanted?"

"A piece of you maybe," he teased and folded his arms across his heavily muscled chest. Every muscle that pressed against the fabric of shirt could be seen rippling because of the small movement. _Did his shirt need to be that tight? _It was almost like he was teasing me. I just wanted to rip off his clothes altogether.

I almost choked on the dry air passing down my throat. My eyes were wide with astonishment that'd he'd actually say something like that out in my working space. "You can't go saying that around here! What would people think if they heard you say that?! It's inappropriate!"

He snorted and chortled. "You think that's inappropriate? How about I lay you out on the desk like I did on your kitchen counter the other night? Then we'll see who's being naughty."

"You're the one who teased me first! If anyone's here that's naughty, it's you!"

"Okay, then next time you can kiss up my—" I stood up and slapped my hand over his mouth.

"Oh my god, don't even finish that sentence. Can you just please give me what you wanted to give me and go? Please?" He handed my a pink piece of paper—a tardy slip, which showed he'd just arrived to school at 2:00pm. _What the hell has he been doing to come to school this late?_

He engulfed my wrist with his hand and moved my hand to uncover his mouth. He turned his head and delicately kissed my right hand on the palm. "Calm down, alright? And I'll see you later." With that he gently place my hand by my side and the left the office. I could feel the racing of my heart slow down to its normal place as the warmth of his kiss lingered on my palm. I was warmed with comfort, with my guilt of the affair being tucked away. I felt calmer than I had been all day.

_Why did such a small gesture have to have that affect on me?_

"_What_ in the _**fucking**_hell was _that_?" _Ah crap. I'd forgotten she was even here. _I turned in my standing position to my coworker with a sheepish smile. Play it cool, Buffy.

"It was a dispute between a male student and a female faculty member." The term 'bullshit' permeated through my mind.

"Bull_shit_. I heard everything, girl, and to me, it sounds like you've been hooking up with that? Please correct me if I'm wrong." I winced and sighed as I ran my fingers through my bobbed raven locks.

"I'm also—just gonna throw this one out here—I'm also positive that this is the guy you are getting extra dazzled up for. Correct?" I gave a reluctant nod.

"I'm also guessing he gave you that hickey?"

"Holy shit!" I clamped my left hand on the left side of my neck where the hickey lay just above my collarbone. I gasped at how sensitive it was there and how pleasurable it felt to caress it. "You can _see_ it? I put a ton of concealer and foundation on it to cover it up well!"

"I honestly thought you knew it was showing because I've been looking at that thing since lunch. Hell, everyone has. I mean it is huge and it was all the rage in the faculty lounge. Some of the staff find it offensive, but everyone else thinks you have a very active sex life."

"God, I'm an idiot."

I sat down, and dropped my head into my hands with my elbows posted on my desk, running them up and down in my face in frustration. The sound of my friend's heel clicked a few paces before the slender arms encircled my shoulders. "Hey now. You're not an idiot. You're responding to your womanly urges and it just so happens to be toward a nineteen year old high schooler. You also happen to be married and it seems to me that you're not happy in your marriage. This is a sign. Act on it and see how things play out. I mean, c'mon. What's the worst that could happen besides you getting out of a bad marriage?"

What's the worst that can happen?

My husband might kill me because I cheated on him.

My husband might kill me because I want a divorce.

My husband might kill me because I left him for a younger man.

My husband might kill me because I'm taking the children with me in the divorce.

My husband might kill me.

Oh yeah, nothing too severe.

"You're right... You don't think I'm wrong for this, do you?"

"Please! It's only natural to want to love and live a little. It's a apart of life."

"I hope you're right because I feel like I've bit off more than I can chew."

She gave me a look a disbelief. "Trust me girl. You can handle him."

"It's not him I'm worried about."

…

It was around 4:30pm when I arrived home. Ananda offered me a ride home because I could not acquire one from my husband nor Paul. My husband had 'better things to do than to drive my lazy ass around'. Paul had disappeared into the forest with the rest of his friends. I always wondered what went on in there the had the boys go in there on the daily basis. There are large, mutated wolves, mountain lions from the peninsula and other equally terrifying creatures living in the thick woods. Do people even notice that they go deep in the woods a lot? Is that a normal thing to do?—Anyhow, Ananda gave me a ride to children's elementary school to pick them up and then to the grocery store in Forks to pick up the items needed for tonight's dinner.

I started dinner with my two little helpers occasionally doing their part in the process. I wanted to cook my first home cooked meal since we moved to the area two weeks ago. I decided to cook what everyone in the family loved: rigatoni with marinara sauce, shredded cheese, and crescent rolls on the side with butter. Where could I possibly go wrong?

"Aurora, honey, could you bring me everyone's plates please?"

"Sure thing mom!" I could hear the running around the living room the plates rattling in her hands. I smiled at her gleefulness.

"And Aiden, fill all the glasses up with ice and lemonade please."

"On it!"

My seven year old daughter brought the colored plates to me and sat them next to the stove top. I kissed her forehead in thanks, and finished stirring the the ground beef, the sauce and the rigatoni together. I scooped it up with my wooden spoon and served a few spoonfuls into each plate. I announced dinner was ready, placing the glass lid over the pan of hit meat and noodles. The children grabbed their helpings of food and raced giddily to the table, chatting animatedly about their day at school. I listened on as I balanced my husband's plate in one hand and and my plate in the other. Just as I placed his meal on our bamboo placemat, the front door flew open.

I straightened my back. "Honey! You're home," I exclaimed as happily as possible.

He gave me look of vexation. "What the hell else does it look like?" _Well, I was just being fucking polite._

I brushed off his irritation. "Well," I began again. "I made dinner—your favorite even, rigatoni. I knew how much you and the kids loved it so I thought—"

"Shut your damn mouth," he grunted. I shut my lips quickly and pursued them into a thin line. He drug the chair harshly against the wooden floor making our kids wince at the sharp screech it produced. My hands fiddled with themselves as he picked up his fork. My kids stopped talking too and slow down on their eating. Jack took a bite out of his food and slowly chewed, glaring at the table. His face twisted into a grimace of disgust and he spat out his food back onto his plate.

"Jack, what's wrong—"

"Get this away from me."

My brows furrowed. "I don't understand. I made it the way you always liked it. I used your favorite sauce and gave you crescent rolls instead if biscuits like you asked. I—"

I jumped backwards and sucked in a sharp breath of alarm when Jack smashed his dish on the floor. His eyes blazed with fury. "That shit tastes like a dog's asshole. Who would serve crap like that to their own husband?"

I was overcome with anger myself. I was sick and tired of him always putting me down, yelling obscenities at me, and just plain bent on beating the shit out of me to death. I mustered up enough courage to glare back at him. I felt hot with ire. "Well, you are what you eat and I guess that makes you an asshole since my cooking tastes like it. Doesn't it, jack?" I spat out and turned my back to him. I walked to the kitchen closet to get a broom and dust pan to clean up the mess he'd made.

My front slammed against the kitchen closet's door. I staggered trying to keep my balance while Jack's forearm smashed the backside of my neck down. I could hear the twins calling out for me. "Mommy needs help! Go get hel—" I cried out and Jack applied pressure to his hold on me.

"You really think these dumbass kids o' yours can save you?" He sneered and laughed humorlessly. It was getting harder not to cry from the pain and even more to difficult to breath.

"I'm coming to help you mom!"

"Aiden, don't!"

Before I knew it, my husband had let go of me to smack my little boy across the face. Aurora was no where to be seen. I felt tears prick the corner of my eyes as more rage surge through my body. I lunged for the stove and grabbed for the glass lid of the pan I'd been cooking in earlier. "Don't hurt him!" I launched the dome lid like a frisbee at the back of Jack's neck. Aiden was clawing at Jack's fingers that were holding him in the air by the jaw. My husband's head snapped forward sharply and sent the rest of his body careening forward. In the process, he dropped my crying son on the floor. I helped Aiden to his feet and pushed him out the back door. I ran back over to the stove and grabbed the pan filled with hot rigatoni, marinara sauce, and ground beef. Jack started spewing out vulgarities and snarled at me.

"Do not come near me!" I growled. "I will hurt you with the pan if you do!" I threatened him.

He laughed sarcastically as if I wasn't going to do it. "C'mon baby, put the pan—" I didn't listen and just threw the contents of my pan on my husband. I stared, frozen with the pan gripped in my hands and raised over my head. He screamed in agonizing pain as he swiped the food off him blistering face, neck, and hands. He roared at me and charged again. I defended myself, swinging the underside of the pan down on his head. He reared back and staggered on impact. I swung a second time. The next hit threw him off balance. He was out cold before he even hit the floor.

My chest heaved drastically as the sirens of the police sounded into my hearing range. I looked up tiredly as my front and back door were knocked down. The lead officer, followed by two policemen guns drawn, and some of Sam's boys rushed in. They surveyed the scene upon seeing Jack's unconscious body and my kitchen weapon in head. Cautiously, one policeman stepped towards me. The other helped the EMTS put the body of my husband onto a gurney. From their chatter I could hear that I hadn't killed my husband. He was just knocked out.

"Mrs. Uley?" The officer had a thick brunette mustache resting above his lips and a thick head of dark brown hair to match. He wore a navy blue uniform and badge like the others checking out the scene with him.

"That's not my name," I said hoarsely.

"Alright, then I'll call you by your first name, Buffy. Now Buffy, I'm the Police Chief of Forks, Officer Swan. Why don't you put the cooking pan down and we can discussed what happened here," he asked calmly, gesturing toward the thing my hands.

I shook my head, staring dryly at Jack being wheeled out of our—my house. "I can't because then he'll wake up and try to kill me and my children again. He'll come for me and then I won't be able to protect them because you made me put my damn pan down."

"Jack Uley is not going to hurt you anymore, okay? Buffy, you and your children are going to be safe." He grabbed the pan and tried to tug it softly away from me.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because you've got another family looking out for you," Officer Swan hinted, nodding his head to the people behind him. It was then that I noticed Emily with my children, Sam, Jacob, Embry, Quil, Seth, Jared, and lastly Paul. They all had an array of emotions flickering amongst their countenances. The main one was ire and worry. Paul's was the worst. He seemed so angry to the point that he was visibly shaking. It worried me and not just for my safety. I wanted to go over there and console him when the opposite should be happening. I felt undeserved of this worrisome episode surrounding everyone. Then again maybe this is what it was like to have a family. To feel safe whenever they're near. "Buffy?"

"I'm sorry," I cried, feeling a sob about to rip through me. I dropped the pan to the ground and sunk to my knees with my head burrowed in my hands. I could feel the tears streaming down my face as uncontrollable cries and sobs wracked my person. "I'm so sorry," I whispered to myself, "I let this go on for so long because I was scared and didn't know what else to do—"

From the temperature of the hands pulling mine away from my face, I could tell it was Paul. He titled my head up the tips of his fingers and used the others to brush away stray strands of my hair. "You're safe now."

Somehow, that was all the conviction I needed.

**A/N: sorry this took so long guys! **

**So tell me... Yay or nay? Send me a review guys on what you think! I live for reviews my lovelies!**

**Later, guys!**

**-Squid:)**


	5. Secrets

**Hey,**

**I'm back after like a month. I know, you hate me. Blah blah Bleh.**

**Enjoy,**

**-Squid:)**

I felt as if my body had shut down, like I was numb. My mind surged with emotions, replaying the scene that had just happened. I was relieved and happy, yet terrified all the same. I would have a restraining order put out against my husband (soon to be ex-husband when I call my lawyer to divorce him) and my court order date would be in a few weeks where Jack would charged with child abuse and domestic abuse. Yet at the same time, I felt like Jack will come back, regardless if the restraining order is placed, and try once again to either beat us senseless or rid the world of my and my children's existence. I felt like I was encased in a tomb of warmth as I watched the lawmen file out of my kitchen and my home. Chief Swan stood in front of me filling out the domestic violence report. The others stood behind them, Emily holding my frightened children quietly at her side as the forensic analysts finished up their work at the scene.

"Alright, Mrs.—Buffy. You're all set. You'll get a call in few weeks about your court date for the judge to decide what to do with your husband after his arrest. Best guess would be jail time considering the crimes he's committed in the past and present." I nodded my understanding to the brunette officer, fearing I would be able to speak with the amount of tears swelling in my throat. "Anything else I can do, just give me a ring at the station."

"Will do Charlie," the voice of the warmth surrounding me spoke. It squeezed tighter as the officer, Charlie Swan, gave me a sympathetic look and nod before exiting my house after his men. That look had spoke volumes to me. It said he'd seen this type of saturation before with a hint of relief that'd been able to defend myself. For some reason, the glass case of emotion I was in became smaller, suffocating me with my own feelings. I was ready to breakdown...but not in front of the others. It was quiet for a moment, save for the sounds of my heavy breathing. From my unfocused vision, movement happened. Emily gave my children to Sam, motioning to bring the, upstairs and ushering the others out, and cautiously approached me. I blinked, which made her stop in her progress, and cleared my dazed vision.

"Buffy?"

I felt my eyes blink again drowsily. "I'm, uh, fine. Maybe going through some shock, but fine," I said so quietly, that I was sure only Paul was able to hear.

"Well," she started hesitantly, "the others and I are leaving. Okay? Or would you like for us to stay?"

I shook my head vigorously, a broken smile gracing my face. "That's okay. You can go. I'll call you if I need anything." She gave me a reassuring nod and simper before joining hands with Sam at the bottom of stairs and left as quietly as they had come.

Paul shifted behind me and removed his arms from the iron grip of heat he'd created around me. He started to slip away and I felt empty as the warmth escaped me. I frowned up this and I placed a hand on his arm as he turned away from me. Hazel eyes met mine with the depth of a thousand words to be spoken. His eyes were pain-stricken and and angry. "Don't leave. Please." My voice sounded small and a little shaken.

"I won't. Ever." He took one giant step towards me and gently took my body in his arms. He closed his eyes and hunched down from his tall statute, touching his forehead to mine. He inhaled deeply, as a shiver traveled through his body and rocked us both. He cupped my face and pulled me closer. "If he ever comes back here—if any harm is coming to you or you're in any danger, just scream my name. Don't hesitate, just scream and I'll come running."

My brows furrowed together and my blue eyes looked up at him unsurely. What good would that do? If Jack came back, which he might, who says Paul would be around? And if he isn't, how would calling him help me? Jack would've either killed me or my children or possibly take them away. Does Paul have some kind of supersonic hearing I'm not aware of? "Do you trust me?"

"Yes- of course. You wouldn't be here if I didn't." My answer was confident and the truth. I trusted him with all my heart and my life and it scared the shit out of me. I felt like wanted to be dependent on this high schooler to heal me and take care of me and so much more. I wanted him to love me and I didn't know why. But I trusted my gut. I trusted my gut even though I knew he was hiding a secret from me—one that'd 'I'd know in time'.

He opened his eyes, intense and intelligent, and pulled back a little. "Then trust me with this, please," he pleaded. "I can keep you safe if you just continue to trust me."

"How can I continue to trust you if you're keeping secrets from me? Secrets that help you keep me safe? Secrets that I feel like I ought to know? Does that mean you don't trust me, Paul?" I spoke my thoughts and watched his face crumble with guilt. He bit his bottom lip nervously as he struggled for words. Dispute the situation he still looked scrumptious while doing it.

"I promise I'll tell you...at the right moment."

I felt my confusion turning to vexation and my lips pursed. A growl slipped through clenched teeth, much to the amusement of the man in front of me. "When will be the right moment?"

"Again, I'm sorry, I can't tell you until I tell you." I sighed and moved my line of vision to the splattered spaghetti sauce on the floor so that Paul wouldn't see the irritation brewing within my blue eyes. I need to clean that up. I felt his fingertips guide my gaze back to him. "Don't be mad, baby. I can't– I don't want to expose you to the world I'm in."

"World? What world would that be besides this one?" I snorted.

"Something too dangerous for you to be apart of," he barked out, all hesitation gone. Only seriousness in its place. The color of his eyes grew darker as he spoke. "Believe me when I say this—it's no place a regular human being," he barked out humorlessly.

I raised a raven brow in question. "And you're not a regular human being I take it?"

"You're right." Did he take me for an idiot? "After hearing everything and seeing me, I'd expect you to guess it like the leech lover did," he mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing," he murmured and gave me a small peck on the lips. "Let's clean up this mess."

…

I blinked, rapidly as I awoke and waited for my eyes to come back into focus. A snore emitted around the room and thank God it wasn't the familiar sound of my husband. I twisted my body in my bed and struggled to get up because an hot arm was snaked snugly across my waist. I craned my head back, feeling Paul's nose brush against my neck. His arm pulled me closer to his chest. I could feel the vibrating rumbles of his snores on my back. A content smile graced my countenance. Out of all the bad things that have happened to me, something good came out of this. I remembered thinking to myself how I didn't want to move here, regardless that it had to do with Jack's family. I didn't want to leave my parents or my sister behind in California. I felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. Maybe I'd find here...and maybe in Paul.

A tender kiss was placed delicately on my shirt covered shoulder, followed by a butterfly smooch to the back of my neck. "What are you thinking about?" His lips mumbled against my back it was almost muffled.

"Everything. You. Jack. The move that brought my family here. Just everything."

"Are you glad you came here?" He seemed hesitant to ask and I felt like he was asking an entirely different question.

"Yes," I answered happily, twisting my body over to face him. "I've met such wonderfulpeople and managed to get rid of my husband. I'd say this is a win in my favor."

"Good." He smiled largely and flung himself gracefully onto his feet. He crossed over to the other side of my bed, scooped me up in his arms bridal style, and carried me out the master bedroom. "Because those wonderful people are here for you downstairs," he said as he brought me downstairs in my shirt dress pajamas.

I harrumphed and flicked him on the peck. "You couldn't have—oh I don't know, let me get dressed first?"

"Oh c'mon! Where's the fun in that?" He gave me a cheeky smile and set me down at the bottom of the stairs. "Besides, I get a nice view of that ass of yours." As does every other male in the room. Yay. "You should wear short dresses to bed more often—or none at all. Whatever works for me- you."

A dry laugh escaped me. I decided to ignore his sexual comments and everyone's humored eyes. "Good mornin' boys, Sam, Em." I nodded to Jacob and Embry, the only boys there and the couple. With mouthfuls of food, the pair greeted me. Sam gave me a nod and joined them and Paul on the couch to watch some reality tv show. I entered my kitchen area and watched my children help Emily prepare breakfast. As soon as they spotted me, their faces lit up.

"Mommy!" "You're okay!"

I crouched down and received hugs from both of them. I kissed their foreheads endearingly and ruffled their hair. "Mommy's a trooper. The big meanie can't take me down because I AM MOMMY! Hear me roar!" My children giggled with me and let out a lion like roar as I beat on my chest.

"Now that we've established mommy is all powerful, you guys get a break. Go watch some tv while I finish breakfast up with Emily."

"You guys are too precious." Emily laughed merrily, watching the twins plop onto the couch with the monstrous boys and her fiancé.

"I'm their rock. I'll do anything to keep them happy." I shrugged my shoulders, smile etched on my face. "So, what are you making for these animals?" What? They eat like fucking wolves! Have they, like, never heard of chewing before swallowing? Or swelling period because they just inhale food.

The scarred woman smiled as if sharing an inside joke. I added that to the clues of Paul's secret. Every time I mention the words animals and woods and inhaling food he always snorts or smiles knowingly like something is hilarious. This also meant Emily and the others were in on it and something told me she wasn't up for telling or else she would've done it already and would stop sending me secretive glances. _What the hell are those supposed to mean to me? _"Waffles, pancakes, muffins, bacon, and eggs—the usual."

My eyes bugged out at how much batter she was using. She had already mixed four bowls and was working in the fifth one now. "How many pancakes and waffles are you planning on making?! Who else will be eating this?"

"Around eighty each. And the other guys will be here soon except for Leah." Her eyes glanced downward sadly at the mention of the girl, who'd I had only seen and not met formally. From the corner of my eye I could see Sam staring in the direction of Emily with worry scattered across his face. Emily shook her head and smiled at her man, making his face glow brighter than the sun. Do you know what the odd thing about witnessing this entire small account? I had seen this lovely dovey look before...on Paul when he looks at me; on Jared whenever I see him with his girlfriend at school; and on Quil whenever he's playing around with Emily's baby niece whatshername. It was a weird 'I'd die for you because I love you' face and it was creepy. All these boys from the same social group all have the same lovesick face on all the time?

_Coincidence? I think not_. Something fishy was going on around here, and I'll be damned if I don't find out.

…

It was a few days after the incident with Jack, a Tuesday. Today had been a long day at work. Ananda hassled me about not telling her about the fallout with my husband and how she was disappointed she had to hear it from the Forks News Station. She promised to lend me her shotgun so that I'd be able to defend myself against the asshole. To make matters worse, Paul nor any of the other boys were at school. It was a good day to not wear anything sexy too. It's no fun to waste a seduction outfit if your secret lover isn't going to be in school.

My god, this sounds like a lifetime movie—the Schooling Seductress. I can see the movie titles and headlines now. I cackled to myself as I browsed throughout the grocery eyes of Forks Supermarket, still reflecting on my day. "My my," if only my mother could see me now.

I turned down an aisle listening to Aurora's demands for frozen pizza and Aiden's craving for a payday bar when I crashed into another cart. I shushed my children before apologizing to the shopper of the basket. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention!" I smiled sheepishly at the brunette girl in front of me who looked familiar. It clicked when noticed the way she shied herself behind the tall, pale and lanky boy boy next to her. It was the girl Jacob brought to the bonfire a week ago. "Bella!"

Recognition flitted across her face as the boy, who I'm assuming is her boyfriend glanced between us. He looked confused when he looked at me and it was all too soon replaced with understanding. Ok? "Hey, uh, Buffy, right? The one married to Sam's brother." At the mention of Sam, the boy next to her stiffened, nostrils flared and hostility bore in his almost black eyes and rolled off his body in waves.

"Errm, not anymore. We're getting a divorce soon." Surprised flicked across both of their faces.

"Why? You guys seemed perfectly fine the last time I saw you guys." _Oh ya know. My husband has been beating me to death since our children were born. He got caught this time so it was safe to break away from him. Unless he comes back...then I'll be dead. Ugh._ I glanced at the both of them to see how I should answer. Her boyfriend looked sympathetic. Maybe he'd heard it on the news too?

"I'd rather not speak on it right now," I said biting my lip uncomfortably. "You'd mostly see it on the news anyway."

She nodded awkwardly. "Right... So has Paul told you yet?" She was in on it too? How the fuck does everyone know but me?! God, this was driving me crazy.

"You mean—no, Aiden. Put it back, you already have enough candy at home," I told my son, who'd grabbed every piece of candy in sight and tried dumping it in the basket. I watched him grumble to his sister, telling her to put back her mountain of candy as well._Good lord_, "You mean his secret?"

"So you know it too?"

"No, he keeps giving me clues but won't tell me anything other then that he'll tell me in time or when the moment is right."

"Why don't you use the legends?"

"What do those old stories have to do with anything?" I watched her shift her focus to the bronze hair boy.

"More than you know."

**A/N: I know it's taken me a long time, but it's thanks giving week and I've got a lot of time on my hands to write so let's get too it!**

**So yay or nay? Tell me what you think, lovelies, in a review! Please!**

**Tah tah for now,**

**-Squid:)**


	6. Theory

**Hey,**

**I'm trynna update like all week, everyday so bear with me guys.**

**Enjoy,**

**-Squid:)**

It was the dead of the night and from my bedroom I could hear the harsh winds beating against the side of my house. I stepped away from my workstation and glanced out the window and saw the trees swaying as the wind heavily blew around them. My room was a cluttered mess as was my mind. I had papers, and open books on the culture and tribe of La Push scattered about. My conversation with Bella the other day had spiked my curiosity to figure out Paul's secret even more. After I'd left the grocery store in Forks, I had gone home to drop off my groceries so they wouldn't spoil because afterwards I was heading to the local bookstore to do some research on the Legends. This was when I came across Paul. I hadn't seen him since Emily made breakfast over at my place and that was seven days ago. He had looked haggard, and that was an understatement. He was hunched over, huffing in and out through his nose. His hair was disheveled and he looked beyond tired. His eyes were sunken in the with black circles around them as if he'd only slept a few hours.

_He looked up exhausted at the sound of my car door shutting. I told my kids to wait in the car as I grabbed the two plastic bags from the front seat, for I'd be right back anyhow. I approached him warily watching his eyes follow me longingly. He pushed his person off my porch steps and took long steps toward me. I halted in my tracks, making him stop as well. It infuriated me, how much his mere presence made me feel rightagain. That one night he'd slept in my bed...all right perfect and in harmony. I didn't have any nightmares of Jack and I felt like I could hold myself together. When he didn't visit me, I felt utterly fragile. "Paul, what're you doing here?"_

_"Do you need help with your bags?" He asked, ignoring my question and leaned forward to reach out and grab one of the bags in my hands._

_"Paul," I hissed icily. I hid the white bag behind me and glared at him, daring him not to ignore my question as I repeated it. "You haven't been around for days like you'd promised. You just disappeared when I needed you the most- when my children needed you. You just disappear for a week without letting me know and then just reappear on my doorstep like nothing has changed. The least you can do was tell me why you decided to come back—"_

_His passive face smoothed out into complete and utter exasperation. He ran a meaty hand up and down his face and through his raven cropped hair. He sight deeply. "I can't tell you." He sounded as if he were tired or annoyed of repeating this to me. Maybe if he told me we wouldn't have this fucking problem._

_Vexed, I rolled my eyes, unlocked the front door, and trudged inside to my kitchen area. I heard him follow behind me. I started putting around the items. "Listen if you're going to spew the secret shit at me, then I suggest you leave," I told him quietly, packing the food into the opened fridge. "If you're going to just keep leaving and keep secrets from me then...I'd rather you just not show up at all at my house. I don't like to worry and that's all I do when it comes to you and it drives me fucking bonkers because I don't know why I'm worrying but somehow I know it's your fault. So if you could please just leave me alone while I get my life and my divorce, and my fucking family together...that would be just lovely."_

_His face contorted in a ray of emotions. First shock; then rage consumed him, his body trembled in waves all over his body. He shook his head, not in defiance to what I said but as if to concentrate on something as low growls slipped out his mouth. I backed myself into the corner of the kitchen feeling fear seep inside my veins as the person I'd come to know and possibly love stumble gracefully, snarling like an animal out my home. I ran the elephant window of my living room and watched his blurring body running rapidly through the thicket of the forest._

That was the last I saw of Paul and that was only four days ago. I'd gone to Seattle because the libraries and bookstores in Forks and La Push were piss poor. I bought books that were written in the 1930s describing the La Push tribe and Forks, Washington, and my own copy of the Quiluete Legends. I read the legends in a day and went to the Portland library to find books that specialized in the analysis of the Cold Ones, or vampires—_cringe_—and the Quiluetes descending from wolves, which would make them werewolves?—that is if any of these creatures even fucking existed. After I'd gathered all my intel, I rendezvoused back to house and locked myself in my bedroom at night while my children slept soundly in their beds.

This brings me to right now. I'd pieced together that according Quiluete legends, those who descend from wolves must have a direct bloodline relation to the original werewolf—_double cringe_—which was Taha Aki. And in order to trigger this process, the descendant must be near a Cold One to go through the symptoms which are high fever, growth spurt, physical aging, and muscle gain. Something told me that because of the growth spurt and high fever, it would explain why the others ate so much all the time. That brought me to my genealogy search. _Oh, yeah, I was going way back on this shit...even if this stuff was make believe. Bella obviously believed in this and so did the other so there must be some truth._

"Quil Ateara II, Ephraim Black, and Levi Uley were the original three who carried the the bloodline. And then somewhere else down the line the Clearwater's joined," I spoke aloud, walking back over to my board where I connected all the links together. "So that would mean that Sam, Jacob, Quil, Leah, and Seth are..." _And if that's their secret then that makes it Paul's and—_

"Oh my god, no!" I back away from my table and face palmed myself. I started pacing around my room, a laugh building in my throat. "I'm officially crazy! This isn't true and it can't be possible! Does everyone take me for a fool because this is some helluva secret? Surely if this is true, people ought to fucking see something like this—" _Get a grip! Why the fuck am I even trying to rule this as fucking existing? Werewolves and vampires do not exist._

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands with exhaustion and sat on the windowsill. I glanced back at my analyzing board, before closing my eyes for a brief second and resting my head against the glass. This is not real. Mythological creatures do not exist. I opened them again and stared out the window and downward, meeting a hazel eyes that reminded me of yet, they belonged to a dark silver wolf. They were startlingly intelligent and this time I knew those eyes were Paul's. "No," I hissed to myself. "Stop it!" I clenched my eyes shut trying to block out the massive wolf's whimpers and those eyes. _It's not true. It's not true. They do not exist. Paul is a regular human being._

My breathing increased as I tried to ignore to the truth in front of me. I think I was on the verge of hysteria or paranoia or something. I pressed my palms and my forehead to the cool glass. The wolf outside emitted a chagrined howl, drawing my eyes open and towards it- him. I looked down at it, hearing the little yips and the paws of the dark silver wolf scratched at the side of my house. I opened the window, trying to pretend this wolf was not the person I was irrevocably in love with. I leaned out and peered down at the wolf.

"Hey! Stop scratching at my house!" I barked out over the roaring winds.

I tried to reposition myself to rest my elbows on the sill when my elbow reached too far. I felt myself slipping out the window. With a yelp, I lurched out the window into the briskly cold air and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting to smack into the ground. I was airborne for a split second and witnessed a flurry of activity beneath. from the corner of my eye I saw the blur of gray and russet skin mingle together before a warm body had slammed into me, with their arms wrapped around me securely. We crashed into the ground and my heart was beating rapidly out of control. The grass scratched against my cold skin as I struggled to remain calm. I cracked an eye open to see my savior, a naked Paul, breathing heavily atop me. His eyes were closed as he inhaled and exhaled. My eyes were wide as I took in everything around me. The wolf with Paul's eyes was gone. Paul was as naked as the day he was born. I wasn't dead or splattered against the ground._What the hell just fucking happened?_

"Paul," I stated shrilly, looking around frantically for the wolf I'd seen earlier. My theory can't be true. It has to be here somewhere. Paul can't be a—"Paul! What was that? Where- where did the wolf go? How did you—"

He scooped my body into his and held me closely. He buried his nose and face into my neck where my lengthening, bobbed black hair had covered part of it. "Buffy, baby, you need to relax. You're safe now and please don't ever lean out the window like that again. You nearly scared the shit out of me when you started falling!"

"I'm sorry," I said shakily and wearily. I sighed with tremble and looked into his concerned and hesitant eyes. "I just- I'm just so confused. I learned your secret and- and I wasn't sure what to believe anymore when I started pieces the clues and connections together. Then I realized the wolf I'd been talking to had your eyes and I didn't want to believe that you're a werewolf or that they existed or vampires existed and now I don't know what to believe and—I'm rambling and I don't know what to do anymore. Am I crazy?" I blurted out.

I could feel him running his hands along my back in an effort to soothe me. A deep chortle rumbled from his and shook the both of us. "You're not crazy." Was all he said. And then I couldn't help myself: I flat out laughed. A giggle of hysteria and paranoia bubbled from the pit of my stomach until I was a fit of guffaws.

"I'm not insane!" I felt out of Paul's grip and onto the grassy floor. "I'm not crazy but I am surrounded by scary mythical creatures. That's even better! Much fucking better."

I could feel Paul's eyes on me as he laid down next to me on the grass. "Are you- are you okay with me...being what I am?" He asked shyly. His fingers caressed the knuckles of my fingers. I slipped my right hand into his left and squeezed.

"I don't fully understand the knowledge that I know," I murmured softly, "However, I won't abandon you because you're different. It'll just take some getting used to. I'm just scared of what to do next. I don't want to mess what we had up anymore."

He rolled onto his side and I tried my best to not ogle and ignore the well endowed endowments of Paul. He propped himself on his elbow and used other hand to gently graze my face with his fingertips. "You don't have to worry about anything anymore now that you know. You don't have to deal with this alone or be scared of me. Do you understand that, Buffy?"

"Yes." I nodded, while sighing and pressed my lips eagerly to his. As long as he was back in my arms, _werewolf_ or not, I was ecstatic. He welcomed the them just as elatedly.

**A/N: I feel like I rushed into this to fast. These will get longer eventually.**

**Yay or nay? Please tell me in a review guys. They are my inspiration for writing.**

**Ciao, lovelies,**

**-Squid:)**


	7. Wolf Stuff

**Hello there lovelies and happy new year.**

**I really needed to update this. Like, seriously, and damn it. I'm gonna update.**

**Enjoy,  
-Squid:)**

I fiddled around in my kitchen, watching Paul—with a pair of pants on—out the corner of my eyes. I had only learned of the Lahote boy's secret a few hours earlier. It had settled in the pit of my stomach no matter how many times I tried to convince myself that- that it wasn't true—that I was in some bad dream I couldn't wake up from. I had told him that I accepted that he was a werewolf and I did. Yet at the same time, I had not. Maybe my mind couldn't handle the complexity of such a massive being fitting inside the body of the large male. Maybe I was afraid of the unknown. Maybe I was afraid he would attack me—

The bowl of chili I'd heated up for Paul slipped from my hands and crashed to the floor in a splatter of glass, kidney beans, sauce, and meat. The image of Emily's half marred face and her story sprung into my mind. She'd told me she had been attacked by a bear, mauled and showed me the scar ran from the right side of her temple all the way down to her right wrist. I remember the look of pain flare across her face as she looked to Sam who stood near the sofa where the rest of the boys sat playing video games, watching us...watching her with a look of pure agony. At the time, I hadn't understood. I thought he was hurt that the woman he loved was hurt but he looked as if he had done the scarring. Now I understood. Sam had attacked Emily—but surely not on purpose? Right?

My mouth had gone dry and I felt myself stumbling into the refrigerator. Sam hurt Emily as a wolf—and who knows if he was in the right mind when he did it? What would happen if- would Paul ever hurt me like that? Paul's voice pierced through my haze of fear causing me to flinch back at his towering stature, and the closeness of his proximity. I shied away from body as the heat drew near.

"Buffy! What's wrong?" Paul's hazel eyes searched mine, worry in their depths.

I shook my head, trying to push my anxiety and fear away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I whispered. "I was thinking about what you were and it scares me. You scare me. What am I going to do with a werewolf partner? I already know you have feelings for me but what if your werewolf side doesn't reciprocate the mutual feelings? What if it attacks me? What if I end up like Emily—"

He encircled my body with his arms and pressed me close, cradling the back of my head and burying his fingers in my hair. The deep and heavy tone of his voice rumbled as he spoke softly. I rested my forehead on his shoulder. "What happened to Emily was accident. Sam and Emily were arguing. It escalated quickly and Sam was standing too close to Emily and he was far passed anger." He paused, letting the information sink in. "Being around werewolves has its risks. When we get angry or close to it, our bodies experience tremors. Depending on how angry we are...we phase. Sometimes we can calm ourselves down."

This didn't calm my nerves one bit. "Are you still in your right mind when you're a wolf?" I inquired, hesitantly raising my head to look him in the eyes. He was staring off into space before his amber eyes met mine with burning expression.

"In the moment we phase...no. After that we're acutely aware of what's going on and we're in control of our bodies so that we don't harm anyone or ourselves. There's no other mind that takes over—it's just ours. Otherwise, we'd be going on primal instincts and that only comes in handy when it comes to-" He stopped, long enough to catch himself on whatever he almost let slip and brought his eyes away from azure ones. "never-mind."

"Tell me." He huffed himself off the ground, untangling my body with his. He paced away from me and ran a massive hand through his short hair.

"Buffy, just let it go please."

"No," I uttered contumaciously. I gathered myself off the floor and approached his broad back, measuring his height to mine. My head barely reached his shoulder, even at my 5'8" stature. Gently, I rested my head on his shoulder baldes; I placed a hand on his back, and the other snaked around his waist. "I won't let it go. Now, tell me what you were going to say."

With a heavy sigh he twisted in my embrace, resting his hands on my hips, and held my gaze. "Look, I'm not trying to put anymore stress on you ok. I don't need you to worry about this because you've got a family to look after without the thought of worrying about those leeches out there."

A soft, yet strained chuckle emitted from my throat. "You think I'm worrying about vampires?" It wasn't that I wasn't not terrified of them. They just weren't on my radar...well not like werewolves now. And I had more important things of worry about—like my family and not getting eaten alive by a werewolf.

His eyes steeled with a seriousness and annoyance I'd never witness in his eyes before. "For your safety, you should be. You'd be pretty stupid to not be."

I was taken aback by the intensity and harshness of his voice. My own face hardened to match his. "Maybe I'm afraid of getting attacked by you. You're the one with the most temperamental attitude of the pack right?" I hissed out just as hardly. His countenance sobered and softened as he stilled.

"Please don't- don't think that about me." I hadn't known a few tears ran down my face until he swiped them away with his thumb. "I know I've got anger issues...but that doesn't mean I'm not trying to work them. You know I'd never hurt you—wolf or not. I was made to protect you. Please remember that."

I'll remember that when I if I end up like Emily. God. I'm a horrible person.

"Will you do that for me, Buffy?" I nodded. He pulled my body closer and wrapped his arms fully around me, burying his face into the crevice of my neck. "And if I fail to break that I swear I don't know what I'd do with myself." His words were muffled and his voice shook.

"You'll do nothing," I told him quietly, but sternly. "You'll do nothing but stay with me. I don't care how bad I'm harmed. You're not leaving me. Okay?"

"I swear on my heart, I will never leave you."

"Good." I smiled and pulled his head up by the tuff of his hair in the back and gave him a quick smooch.

He smiled against my lips as the morning rays flooded through the windows of my kitchen and living room. I pulled away from him, and looked at the stove clock. It was close to seven, which meant I'd been up all night with Paul and that I wouldn't get any sleep until later on this Saturday. I sighed and scratched a part of my scalp before detaching my person from Paul's arms. I rummaged through my cabinets pulling out pans for cooking breakfast my children and myself.

"What's wrong?" Paul, catching onto my intentions dug through the other cupboards to pull out pancake batter, while I gather the bacon from the freezer.

"I'm just tired, mentally and physically. I haven't slept at all in days and my boyfriend's a mythical creature. It's a lot to process in a few hours. I just need a human minute to gather myself," I said grabbing the milk out the fridge and handing it to him. I placed the bacon atop the butter-covered sizzling pan as the brute native mixed the ingredients together. "On top of that, I have to worry about my children. What am I going to tell them?"

Paul handed me the batter and watched me pour it on the other butter-covered pan with a puzzled expression across his face. "I don't understand what you mean."

I reached for a utensil and turned over the bacon pieces so that it'd cook evenly and turned my head to Paul. "I can't keep this from my children. I can't keep your secret from my children. It wouldn't be right." Realization dawned on his face.

"I think we should tell them when the time is right—and please believe me when I say this. Right now is not the right time. You are divorcing your husband and have a new beau and I've got some wolf things to attend to. This is already a lot for them and me and I don't think now is the best time. Just let my wolf stuff blow over and your previous marriage end. Then we can tell them."

I can compromise. "Okay, well what wolf things do you have?" His face formed a frown.

"You don't need to be involved, okay?"

"The hell if I do Paul!" I snorted and flipped over two pancakes and the bacon. It crackled against the butter.

"It's dangerous."

"Then you should tell me! I already worry about you enough when you're not in danger," I huffed exasperated.

"It's nothing really."

"Either it's so dangerous that you shouldn't be doing it or it's nothing and you can tell me about it. Which is it?"

"Both." I gave him a vexed look. "Alright, I'll tell you once it's done with. Deal?"

"Deal. Now, go wake my kids up for me please." I smiled sweetly at him.

…

"Hey Buffy. You look more haggard than usual. Paul keep you up all night," Embry teased with a wiggly bushy brow as Paul, my kids, and I entered Emily and Sam's humble abode. Honestly, I had only taken a shower and threw on some sweat, ugg boots, white shirt, and a sweatshirt. I guess I looked less presentable than I normally did. Aiden and Aurora ran towards the tv to play games with Quil and another little girl, Claire.

I groaned only wishing that were the case. "Oh, no. I did something else last night that involves a bunch of furry boys who like to run around in the woods."

Quil stopped paying attention to the little girl and Embry had stilled. "So you know?" Embry asked quietly, hesitantly.

"Yeah and no thanks to you guys. I had help from Bella Swan." I snorted. Paul grunted and left me to go sit at the table which was piled with food. Hadn't he just eaten at my house? Emily has to have cooked that. Speaking of her...where is she?

"Leave it to the leech lover to spill our fucking secrets again," Lahote spat out with a few pieces of food. Leech lover? Did that mean that Bella's boyfriend was a vampire? A shoe sailed toward his head and he ducked quickly before it could hit him.

"Shut the hell up Paul." Jake's gruff voice startled me. I hadn't even heard him come through the door. "If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't have a heads on the red headed leech," he grumbled. He finally glanced at me. "Hey Buffy."

"Hi, who's the red headed leech?" Jacob opened his mouth to respond but Paul beat him too it.

"Nobody," he said sharply.

"Seriously, Paul? Are you serious? You're not telling me anything?" He didn't look me in the eye. I glanced around the room to see everyone avoiding eye contact with me. "Fine. Don't tell me." I'll find out my own way.

…

After spending a few hours at Emily's place, I decided to do some investigating on my own on what was really going on behind closed doors. Emily had known what I was up to the moment she came from the bathroom and saw my confused face as the guys spoke in codes around me. I'm sure she wasn't gonna tell me and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask her in a room full of werewolves. Instead, I was going to the source itself. It was centered around Bella. She must have the whole story. The boys (I had no idea where the others were) had left for patrol and Emily had offered to watch my children while I was gone. She'd given me her address, which was where I was now.

I was on her porch, waiting for her to come to the door since I'd just rang the doorbell. Charlie's cruiser wasn't here, which meant he wasn't at home and that meant I didn't have to fave him asking any questions about my failed marriage. Lord knows I didn't want to keep talking about that. It swung open revealing the same paleface brunette I'd seen at the bonfire and the market some time ago. She had on a gray shirt with a brown cotton jacket over it; dark wash jeans; and a pair of white socks. Her hair was pushed back off her face in a careless cascade and her face was bare of any makeup. She wasn't pretty but she had an odd beauty about her that's for sure.

"Hey Buffy. What're you doing here?" The surprise was clear in her voice and the way her dark eyebrows rose.

I fidgeted because I didn't know how to approach the topic. "Would you like to come inside?" She asked after a moment.

"That would be nice," I answered, politely nodding. I followed her inside, taking in the small accents of her and her dad's home. There were photos of the girl and Officer Swan plastered across different walls and shelves. Some even included another woman, who I assumed to be Bella's mom. I wondered where she was now.

She brought me to her living room and sat on the green couch facing the television screen. I sat on the opposite side of her and fiddled with my hand on where to start. "From one mythological girlfriend to another, can I ask you a question?"

She shook her head and glanced away from me. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Bella, you and I both know that is complete bullshit. If it wasn't for you, I would not have found out that my boyfriend is a fucking werewolf and that yours is a vampire. Please do not make me feel stupid for coming over here."

A breath whooshed out of her body and she slumped defeated. "Ok, so you know what Edward is. Why are you here then?"

"Paul won't tell me—but I know something is going on around here. I know that's its not only dangerous for him and the Pack but also for my family and me. I also know it has to do with a red headed leech and you." I watched as she tensed at the description of the leech. "Paul's telling me the less I know the better. I don't believe that. I feel that the less I know the more I'll be in danger."

"Ok, well the both of you are right. And I feel obligated to tell you because it's because of me everyone in Forks and La Push are in danger."

"In danger of what?"

Her eyes met mine and I saw all the worry and fear she was experiencing. "Death by Victoria, the uh, redheaded vampire." At my confused expression she began her tale of how she got to where she was today. She'd met Edward her junior year at Forks High: Home of the Spartans. He'd tried to stay away from her and couldn't and eventually confessed their love for each other. Trouble struck them when I trio of vampires had locked in on Bella's blood. Edward apparently ended up killing one if the vamps and now she's back to avenge her mate. All she wants is Bella and the wolves are trying to stop her from getting to Bella in La Push while her family helps on the Forks side.

"Oh, wow that really is, err, dangerous," I mumbled. "I wish there was some way I could help."

She nodded understandingly. "Hmm, there is something you can help with, however."

"What's that?"

"Well, my–Edward's sister Alice had asked me to ask you for help with our Grad Party." I stared at her, not understanding. "Oh, right. You don't know. Alice can see the future. It's a gift or superpower I guess you could say. She saw you coming to my house and wanted to invite you to her party. But she had an even greater idea and wanted you to help set up. Hasn't she learned not bring humans to parties..." She grumbled the last part.

"Why does she want my help?" I'm sure she could finish that in the blink of on eye.

"Honestly, I'm not really sure. You can never be too sure when Alice is planning something. Anyway, it's in a week and half. I'm sure she'll some type of outfit picked out for you."

A grin spread across my face. "Outfit?"

"Don't tell me you're a shopper like Alice." I nodded and laughed at the groan of Bella as she fell back against the couch. Something told me that Bella didn't enjoy shopping and Alice took her on a numb of shopping trips. Something told me having a vampire friend wouldn't be as bad as I thought it'd be.

**A/N: ok ok. I know it took me like four months to update and I am terribly sorry.**

**Later gators,  
-Squid:)**


	8. Togetherness

**By the time I've started writing this, none of you guys have reviewed. What happened to my readers and reviewers? I guess that's what happens when I wait so long to update :/**

**Well here ya go,  
-Squid:)**

"You've already been separated for at least a few weeks, so that requirement has already been filled. Now that you've notified your grounds for divorce in your file for petition, we have to advanced toward the next step in the process: notifying your spouse," my lawyer, Ryan Darkovsky of the Seattle Law Firm, advised me over the phone. We'd been working out my paperwork diligently so that I wouldn't end up having to wait a year for a hearing or trial. During that trial, we'd discuss arranging child custody and visitation rights, settling financial aspects, arranging child and spousal support. After that's all decided, a judge will decide on the spot or within a few hours upon our decision and I'll be damned if he gets custody of my children. I don't even want him having visitation rights.

"What does that entail?" I asked speaking into the phone. I shuffled around my room, keeping my eyes trained on the floor as Darkovsky spoke, feeling the rough grey carpet scrape against the bottom of my bare feet.

"Ill write up a Voluntary Appearance document, which means your husband has been notified and doesn't have to give a legal answer or appearance. The next time you'll most likely see him will be in court at the temporary hearing or trial." I heard him rustle some papers around in the background as he spoke. I squeaked into the phone as a pair of blistering tan arms encircled my waist. "Buffy?"

I swatted Paul's hands away and moved out of his grasping range giving him a disapproving gander. A look of pure amusement stretched across his face. "I'm fine. I saw a bug," I lied, easily dancing out of Paul's arms as he attempted to come after me. Stop it, I mouthed to him sternly. I moved away from Paul to sit my desk chair across the room. "That's when we'll discuss custody of my children, financial issues, and child and spousal support. Correct?" I swiveled my chair around so that my back was facing the lurking beast sitting on the edge of my bed giving me the puppy dog eyes.

Ryan chuckle brought a smile to my face. "I see someone's been doing their research."

A snort mingled with a short laugh erupted from me. "Damn right I have."

"All right then. I'll see you in a few days to alert you of your trial date and to discuss the other issues to be discussed on said date."

"Sounds good. Good bye, Ryan."

"Goodbye, Buffy."

I jerked my chair back around to face the culprit. He looked a bit peeved. My raven threaded brow raised in question. "I don't like him."

Paul doesn't like most people so it doesn't necessarily surprise me. "Who? My lawyer? Why?"

"He made you laugh," he huffed out. I could see the pink tinting his cheeks under his russet skin.

"Paul," I simpered, enjoying the embarrassment that came with his jealousy. "You know you're the only one I've got my eyes on. So tell me why you think I'd be paying attention to who makes me laugh?"

"He's always lurking around you like some fucking shadow."

A short guffaw escaped me. "He's my lawyer. He's supposed to hover."

"He always ruins my chances of devouring those lovely lips and body of yours by coming around at inconvenient times. I never get any alone time with you anymore because the little fucker won't stop hogging you." I hoisted my heavy bottom out the swivel chair and sauntered over to him.

"You want all of this?" I purred, swinging my hips as I strode over. He nodded, biting his lip and beckoned me to come closer to his person. "Too bad, you aren't getting any of this anytime soon."

"You're such a fucking tease." Puh lease. He hasn't seen me in my seduction mode yet.

"But, you can, however, devour my lips anytime you like." I giggled and pressed my lips to his. He smiled and kissed me back tenderly. His lips were soft and warm like the rest of his body. My hands traveled their way up his the sides of his shoulders, his neck, and tangled themselves in his dark hair. I could feel his rough palms against the fabric of covering my large, voluptuous hips. With quick movements, he slipped his hands over my backside and my thighs and spread them apart. He tugged my hefty jean covered thighs towards him, making me straddle him. He continued ravaging my mouth in a slow deliberate kiss. One hand grasped at my thigh. The other cupped underside of my bum. He was purring in the depths of his chest. The vibrations traveled between our bodies, making me sigh in bliss. I stopped our embrace, my lips scarcely grazing his. Heavy breathing was the only sound in the room. My lips moved over his jawline, caressing the scorching skin. I started peppering his jaw and neck with butterfly kisses when I yelped at the sharp mixture of pain and pleasure that'd jolted through my derrière and jerked my head away from Paul's.

"Did you just fucking pinch me?" I stuttered breathlessly. Paul rubbed the sore area of my ass cheek.

"I was trying something different." He shrugged with a smile plastered on his face. Clearly he was satisfied with himself. "And it was a success. I can practically smell you." He growled out. He actually growled.

"You can smell that I'm horny?" He nodded and smashed his mouth to mine.

"Can you tell that I—" he stopped mid sentence. He gaze went from lusty to vexed in a that split second. He snarled and whipped his head towards my open window where the afternoon glow seeped through. "Fuck."

My brows creased in worry. "What's wrong?" I slid down from him and let him push himself off the bed. He stormed over to the window angrily.

"I'Ve got patrol and Sam's riding my ass right now," he growled sticking his head out the window. "I'm fucking coming alright!" He barked at someone down below. At the sound of an irritated and loud grumble, I gravitated towards the window. It was a chocolate wolf and it was looking up at us.

"I'll come back tomorrow," he murmured softly and kissed me on the cheek. I gave him one back and watched him leap from my window and land gracefully on the ground. Couldn't he just use the door like everyone else? The wolf below started to cough in a fit of what seemed like laughter. "Shut the fuck up, Jared. Don't make me rag on Kim," Paul warned as he and the wolf trotted off into the brush; his figure blurring as his ran further away.

…

"Buffy, hey."

"Hey Bella!" I greeted her excitedly and pulled her into a hug. She awkwardly returned it, patting me on the back for extra measure.

Today's the day I would be meeting the Cullens because one of their own wanted me to help with their graduation party. Their graduation was held earlier this morning—I'd been working on my divorce with my attorney and then Paul interrupted me and then left. After that, I dropped my children off at their schoolmate and friend, Chris's, house because they had a play date and a sleepover planned, which left me enough time to help Alice with her party and stay to enjoy it. Just because I am twenty six doesn't mean I can't enjoy living a little.

The small brunette gave me a half smile and gestured towards a tank of a truck. It was orange and rusty and looked ready to breakdown at any moment. "We're going in my truck. Is that okay?" I shrugged.

"I don't mind."

She started the ignition as soon as we climbed into her cab. We were on the the road within a few minutes, her monstrous truck's engine snarling as we cruised towards a fork in the woods. "So, um, how's Paul?"

"He's...well, Paul and still an angry buffoon." We turned onto another paved road that ran deep into the woods of Forks.

"Buffoon? That ones new. Although, angry not so much," she chuckled lightly. "How does he feel about you being here?"

I cleared my throat nervously. "He doesn't even know I left La Push."

Her dark brown eyes widen in shock and alarm as she continued to weave down the curvy pavement. "Why wouldn't you- Is that safe? For you I mean?"

"I don't understand what you mean."

"Paul hates vampires the most out of the Pack, although Leah does give it her best shot. If—When Paul finds out, he's going to give you hell for it and I can guarantee he'll be way past ire. He could hurt you Buffy. Trust me, I've had experience with Paul and his anger."

My brows furrowed. Paul had promised he would not hurt me no matter what. However Bella seems extremely concerned for my safety. "How do you know he's going to find out? How do you know what he's going to do?" I had to question her. She knew more about werewolves than I did.

"For one, he's going to smell me and The Cullen's scent all over you. The Cullen's more-so than mine. And I know that once it hits him, he'll be furious."

"He promised he'd never hurt me," I whispered. I could almost hear the doubt in my voice. Paul hurting me in the right mind was impossible to imagine. But Paul, all wolfed out and angry—I felt a shrill of fear course through my body.

"I'm sure he meant it too. That doesn't mean it can't happen. It's almost inevitable." She stopped for a moment and shut off her car. "We're here."

I had been lost in my thoughts about not ending up like another Emily that I hadn't realized we'd arrive at the Cullen home. Grandiose mansion was the right word. It reminded me something out of a catalogue for elegant home buyers. It was probably two or three stories high and was mainly made out of wood and glass. It looked homey, yet chic. It was truly an exquisite house from the stylish archetype of the house to the well kept garden. "I'm sure Esme would love to hear you say that." The door was now open with Bella's boyfriend, Edward, standing there with a crooked smile on his blanched face. Bella walked over to him, leaving me very confused, and wrapped an arm around his waist. He draped an arm over her shoulders and beckoned us inside. I frowned at his backside. Had I said that out loud?

"No," he responded much to my alarm and his amusement. "I assumed my Bella had told you everything about my family."

"Hey, give me some credit. I tried keeping the secret," Bella miffed at her boyfriend.

"I can read your mind, technically speaking," he told me as he guided Bella and myself towards the living room area of their home. It was just as grand as the outside was. The room was decorated with accents of red, purple, and burgundy. It made me feel as if I were entering an intimate space.

"Oh. That must be an inconvenience in your house." Imagine having this guy in my thoughts all the time. I shuddered. You don't need to see my lusty thoughts. His golden topaz eyes sparkled with more humor.

A booming, deep laugh sounded around the house. A burly fellow with curly dark brown hair came grinning down the stairs to the upper floors. "When is it not?"

Edward grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please control your thoughts. I don't want to know what you and Rosalie were doing in the forest last night."

"Stay outta my damn head then," he smirked victoriously. "I'm Emmett and you must be Buffy?"

"That I am—oof!" I grunted as Emmett gathered me up in a bear hug. He was colder than ice and extremely hard; harder than stone. I felt like I was in the embrace of a rock. A really handsome rock, but a rock nonetheless. I inhaled and immediately regretted it as the arms around me squeezed tighter. "Emmett!" I hissed.

"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly scratching the back of his head and placed me on carpeted floor.

"Whew. You really know how to take a girl's breath away."

He gave me a breathtakingly charming smile of white teeth. "I like her."

"See! I told you everyone would like her, Edward." The high and tinkly voice belonged to a very small vampire. Her hair was jet black and pointing in different directions. She practically walked with a childlike attitude yet had the lithe and grace of a ballerina. Come to think if it, they all walked that way...with unnatural grace. Following close behind her was a male, honey blonde. He looked like he was suffering or in pain. It confused me. Was this guy gonna be okay? He slightly turned in my direction and bowed. Wow. Chivalry. That's something you don't see everyday.

The tiny vampire girl approached me with a gleeful smile. "I'm Alice and this is my husband Jasper," she announced pointing to the pained guy next to her. "By the way you dress, I can already tell we're going to be best friends. I've already seen that happening but still. You're a fashionista in the making."

"Thank you?" What did she mean by—

"Alice can see the future," Edward told me. "Jasper's is also an empath. He can sense and manipulate emotions." I pity jasper. Emotions can take you on a really whirlwind of a ride.

"For you to be in a house full of vampires, you are more excited than you are nervous," Jasper's southern drawl trickled in as he spoke. "Your excitement is refreshing."

I smiled at him kindly. "I like meeting new people, regardless of what they are."

"You would consider us people?"

"Well, yes. You weren't always vampires. You started off as a person. Just because you're different know doesn't mean you're still not partly human or considered people."

"If your boyfriend were here I'd think he'd disagree." Edward countered with a smirk. "He does hate us after all."

"You're dating a mutt aren't you?" Alice asked, with a scowl.

"Yes."

"I knew I smelled a wet dog all over you." Emmett scrunched up his nose in disgust. "The stench is all over the place."

"Ugh," Alice groaned, waving her hand in the air to dismiss the subject at hand. "No more talk about the dogs. We need to decorate this place and make it look how a human party should."

"Why'd you need me again?" I asked her.

"I don't. I just needed a new human friend that had a passion for fashion unlike Bella over here. She believes that shopping is torture." I gave Bella the side eye. A girl that doesn't like shopping is odd. But then again this is Bella we're talking about here. She lives in the supernatural world. She just wasn't even meant to be like normal girls.

…

I had known Alice for a total of six hours and she already had managed to stuff me in a very tight dress that I'm sure was not meant for someone with my body shape. Apparently, the outfit I'd brought with me was just ya know too causal for a graduation house party. It was semi formal. She could've gotten me an outfit like Bella's. A simple button down shirt and a skirt. But oh no. After an hour of struggling, I was in a black ruche dress that stopped a few inches above my knee. It had short sleeves with a sweetheart v-line. I had to admit, that it made my body look good and it showed off my sensuous curves—even though I couldn't breath much. As long as I look good, I'll be solid.

I walked around the decorated Cullen house with a Pepsi in my hand, nodding my head to the beat of the Muse song playing and watching the teens have a blast at this party. Laughter and fun filled the air. Couples were dancing together. Some guys were eyeing me. So far this night was good. I continued glancing around and spotted Bella on the side of the dance floor, chatting with some of her females classmates with a smile on her face. One girl squealed and jumped up and down before bidding Bella a goodbye and tagging the other girl away. She was peering around the floor when I walked up to her and nudged her on the shoulder.

"Enjoying yourself?"

She nodded and patted her thigh. "Oh, tons." Her awkward smile turn into an irritated expression as she laid eyes on something behind me. I turned around following her line of vision and spotted Jacob, Embry, and Quil's enormous figures (finally wearing shirts) looming around the room floor most likely looking for Bella, myself, or both. Jake slowly turned around and spotted Bella and I and with a look of satisfaction, made his way over. His friends followed right behind him.

Bella took a few steps to approach him with me lingering behind her. "What're you doing here?" She asked lowly.

He squinted at her as if she'd asked something insane. "You invited me. Remember?"

Bella shook her head. "Was my right hook to subtle for you? That was me uninviting you." I glanced at Jake and then the two behind him with a quirked eyebrow. What the hell happened between them two? As if sensing my question, Embry mouthed later with a humorous grin. Quickly, he replaced it with a serious expression.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry about, you know the kiss and your hand." They had kissed? She cheated on Edward? What the hell is going on? "I'd blame it on the whole inner animal thing but it was really just me being an ass. I'm really sorry."

I rolled my eyes and stepped away from Jacob and Bella's little moment. I pulled Embry and Quil over to the side. "D'you mind telling me why you guys are here?"

"We're just here to make sure Jake doesn't make an ass of himself. And besides, I could ask you the same thing," Embry inquired, and crossed his arms over his lean shirt covered chest. Quil copied him.

"Alice wanted me to help her with the decorations and I was invited."

"She's a vampire for Christ's sake. What does she need your help for? She could be done with that in a split second." Quil stated looking around the room.

"Your guess is as good as mine," I answered the both of them, shrugging all the while.

"I hope you know he's worried," Embry sighed after a while. He ran his hand backwards through his hair.

"Worried doesn't even begin to cover it."

"Oh my god. How did he know I was gone? He wasn't supposed to be back from patrol until tomorrow. He doesn't think I just disappeared did he?"

"Sam won't let him come over to look for you here because we've already got too many wolves out. He does—well trying not to think something has bad happened to you."

"Just peachy."

From the corner of my peripheral vision I saw Alice walking down the stairway that leads to the bathrooms and bedrooms upstairs. She stopped misstep and stared off into space. What is— "I'll be right back," I heard Bella say to Jacob as she passed me by. I followed her towards the pixie vampire with the boys following behind us.

"Alice, what'd you see?"

Alice stared at Bella with a hint of fear from what're vision she'd just experienced. "The decision's been made."

"What's going on?" Jake jumped in. That's what I'd love to know.

Understanding shot across Bella's eyes. "You're not going to Seattle."

"No. They're coming here."

…

We and the rest of the Cullens all met upstairs in Carlisle's study, away from the party happening below us. "They'll be here in four days," Alice informed us.

Carlisle's face was contorted with worry. "This could turn into a bloodbath."

"Who's behind it?" Edward questioned, fiddling with the cuffs of his button down shirt.

"I didn't see anyone one I recognized. Maybe one." Alice spoke.

Edward concentrated for a few moments and looked back at his sister. "I know his face. He's local. Riley Biers." He shook his head. "He didn't start this."

"Whoever did is trying out of the action."

"They must be playing with the blind spots in your vision," the father if the coven assumed.

"Either way, the army is coming and there aren't enough of us to protect the town."

"Hold up," Jake obstructed the flow of conversation. "What damn army?"

Carlisle answered him. "Newborns. Our kind." How the hell are they gonna go up against an army of vampires? Wait, why the hell is an army coming in the first place?

"What are they after," Embry asked, voicing my same train of thought.

"They were passing around Bella's scent." Alice referred back to her vision shed has on the stairs. "A red blouse."

"They're after Bella?" Jake fired off. "What the hell does this mean?"

"It means an ugly fight. With lives lost."

Jake looked to his pack mates at after words of Carlisle. A silent exchange happened between the brothers before Jake gave the man a nod. "All right. We're in."

"No," Bella immediately protested. "You'll get yourselves killed. No way."

"Bella, don't be stupid. These guys are made for this type of thing. It's why they are what they are." Bella turned her look of protest to irritation and onto to me.

"Exactly," he started, dryly. "And I wasn't asking for permission."

"Edward?" Bella called on him to back her up. Don't do it. You know this'll help your family win this thing.

"It means more protection for you," Edward, stated in agreement with jake and his team.

"Jacob," Carlisle engaged him, "do you believe Sam would agree to an understanding?"

"As long as we get to kill some vampires."

"Jasper?"

Jasper nodded. "They'll give us the numbers. Newborns won't know they even exist. That'll give us an edge."

"We'll need to coordinate."

Bella jumped up in front of Carlisle still bent on believing the werewolves won't help. "Carlisle, they're gonna get hurt."

"We'll all need some training." He countered. He turned back to Jacob, Embry, and Quil. "Fighting newborns requires knowledge that Jasper has. You're welcome to join us."

"All right," jake agreed. "Name the time and place."

"Jake, you don't know what you're getting yourself into," Bella argued. Ok. She is really starting to tick me off.

"Bella, this is what we do." Fucking thank you. "You should be happy. Look at us, working together. You are the one who wanted us to get along. Remember?"

**A/N: Wooo hoo I'm pumping out another one this week! Review it lovelies and tell me what you think. And yes the last scene is from the movie. I needed that bit in there.**

**Ciao,  
-Squid:)**


	9. Gone

**Hey guys,**

**Can I get some more reviews and readers, please?**

**Enjoy,**

**-Squid:)**

It was after midnight when I'd pulled up to my home from Bella and the Cullen's graduation party. I was tired from not only having to decorate the massive mansion, Alice wouldn't stop dragging me around her closet to show me the different designer clothing that were stocked within her mall of a closet; Marc Jacobs. Alexander McQueen. Neiman Marcus. You name and she'll have it. _I must admit they were very tasteful _even _if I could never wear those garments. _I glanced down at my hips as I exited the car and and blew my bangs out my face. "Why couldn't I be blessed with a smaller figure," I mumbled to myself with a sigh.

I dragged my cramping heel-clad feet through the front entrance of my home and kicked off my heels to the side. The lighting from the moonlight illuminating my house darkened as the front door closed behind me. The house was black and silent—apart from my breathing and the light scuffle of my the bottoms of my feet. I made it up the stairs and passed the twins' room, glad that they'll be back tomorrow afternoon...or I guess _this _afternoon. I swung open the door of my room open and flicked on the light.

"_Where the hell have you been?_" My eyes flashed to figure I hadn't seen sitting on the edge of my king sized bed. A sharp gasp slipped through my lips at the biting tone of his voice. He wasn't looking at me. He had his head bent over and was digging his fingers into his scalp. His broad shoulders moved with his silent breathing.

"Paul...hi," I murmured hesitantly, keeping myself still in the doorway. I gripped the wall tightly, awaiting his response and dodged his question.

Swiftly, his head snapped up. His eyes were flashing with anger and alarm and he was trembling vigorously. He pushed himself off my bed and brought himself into my proximity. His body was still shaking slightly and he was inhaling tremendously. I could feel the heat of his person radiating around him and myself. I was beginning to sweat from either that or nervousness. "I'll ask you again. _Where_ have you been?" He growled out.

I stepped out of his breathing range and around to get to my closet. He snarled, grabbing me by the elbow and shoving me roughly against the wall. I cried out a hiss. "Buffy, _answer _me." For an instant, I was brought into the painful memories of my soon-to-be ex husband. I bit back the urge to flinch away from Paul and glanced towards the carpeted floor.

"Why does it even matter," I asked him, quietly. I tried my best to keep my voice calm, yet it felt more shaky when I heard it. His angry face contorted into fury.

"Why does it matter? _Why does it matter?_" He boomed, "I got off patrol early because I _needed_ to come check up on you. Something didn't fucking feel right. Then I fucking get here and you're no where to be found! How'd you think I fucking feel? I worried all damn day thinking the worst had happened."

"Well, I'm sorry, Paul." I flashed my blue eyes to his hazel ones, apologetically. "How was I supposed to know you were coming—" He ignored them and glared down at them, at me. His grip tightened on my arm.

"You wouldn't because you were too busy hanging around those– those _fucking leeches!_"

My words caught in my throat as I saw the ire in his features and quivering increase. "How did you know I was with vampires?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot? I can smell the damn burly leech's scent all over you!" He roared. "I specifically told you not to be around them! I swear to fucking high heavens I will end them if they ever touch you again."

I pried his thick hands off my arms, in the heat of my own animosity flaring up. "You _don't _tell me what to do," I huffed at him, my voice barely audible. I stepped around his large figure to head towards my closet again. He grabbed me again with a greater force, causing me to slam harshly into his body. I winced and held back from crying out as I stared into the angry eyes of the La Push native. The quakes from his hands traveled across my skin.

"You will _not_ be around them." I struggled against his hold.

"I don't know who you think you are, but I don't take orders from _anyone_," I snapped back at him. I attempted to keep my voice strong. "I want to hang out with a bunch of vampires when I damn well please and I will continue to do so."

I wretchedly yanked my body away from again. "Oh yeah? Well, when you become dinner, I'll be sure to fucking avenge your death."

"Why do you hold them in such a bad light, Paul? They're good people just like the rest of us, only a little different...like you and the Pack. Besides, if any danger were to come to me, I would not need any protection from you—"

The sound of his bitter laughter cut me off. "Oh, like you didn't need protection from your douchebag of a husband? Look where that got you."

I heard the sound before I'd actually registered I'd done it. I felt it in my right hand immediately after. My bones in my hand and wrist felt as if they shattered into tiny little pieces. I had to bite my tongue to keep from yelling out. Paul whipped his head back at the stunned act of my anger filled slap to his face, which I'm sure hurt me more than it did him. I felt broken. I cradled my hand feeling all the memories of Jack fade back into my mind. Paul was becoming something I feared: another Jack Uley. My body being slammed against the wall broke the barrier of the hidden memories I had of my marriage, with Paul and Jack's faces intermingling with a sinister pleasure plastered on their faces as the meshed together and destroyed my body brutally.

Before I could delve deeper into the depressing parts of my mind's memories, the ground shook beneath me like an earthquake. My eyes immediately latched onto Paul. His body was shimmering and howling like a disturbed bear from hibernation. He was huffing, growling and snarling. He lunged forward. Like the motion of an exploding time bomb, Paul's figure exploded in a hair of a second and the cacophonous sounds of growling and snarls filled my room. The tanned skin of my lover skin beneath the silver surround him. It was a mass of silver fur and mammoth limbs. I scampered back, feeling the shock of what was happening before me wear off, and it was quite frightening to say the least.

I roared in pain as the feeling of claws grazed my left cheek. It spilt open as the razor sharp claw pierced and dragged down the skin of my left arm and down the left side of my body. I clenched my eyes shut, screeching at the top of my lungs as the claw tore my clothing and its way out of my side. I clawed at the ground with my only free hand, trying to reach my room door—trying to get away from the creature in my room as tears ran down my cheeks, mixing with blood and cut of my face. I let out a moan of agony and shakily took a glance at the werewolf behind me. It wasn't moving anymore. It was staring at me, with the eyes of Paul. I sobbed and a fresh trickle of blood poured down my side. The wolf stared before lifting a paw forward. "Pl- please. Don't. Pl-please," I stammered and used my bloody hand try to pull myself unsuccessfully away from it.

I was stuttering, gasping, almost hyperventilating, and spitting out small cries all at once. I exhaled a labored and watery wheeze and kept my eyes trained on Paul's wolf form. He had stopped his attack and backed himself away from me. The whimpers that he groaned through his canines were anguished and sorrowful. I pressed my uninjured hand to floor to push myself off the ground. My arm wobbled until I collapsed. The jagged tissue of my skin on my side screaming in pain. I released a shaky gasp of pure agony and pain. My head flopped onto the carpet. My head turned towards the silver wolf. He swung his head back and let out a long and powerful howl of despair, that resonated around my bedroom and grated against my eardrum. After a moment, he stopped, stared at me and cautiously took two pawed steps toward my bleeding body. He whimpered over me, and bent himself from the shoulders to nuzzle my hair.

"It- It's okay," I murmured shakily, raising my arm up to stroke his fur. It was wet near his face. I squeezed my eyes and gulped down the pain. More tears trailed down the sides of my face, some getting into the cut on my left cheek. I could feel my vision getting hazy just a tad. _Oh god. Was I dying? _I blinked rapidly and grunted myself back into consciousness and focused my blue eyes onto Paul's larger amber ones.

From my awkward and painful position on the floor, I heard the sound of my front door slamming open followed by a rush of multiple footsteps. They stopped once they reached the entrance of my room. "Oh my fu–" "Oh no!"

"Jared, go handle Paul and get him to calm down," Sam's baritone voice instructed somberly. "Embry, Seth, help me with Buffy. Seth, grab some clothes. Embry, I need you to take her to her car and drive her to the hospital. Now."

I glanced around me, wincing as the slit in my cheek stretched. My hair slipped out of my face and brought their faces into view. I could hear the mewls seeping through the monster's mouth. He clenched his hazel eyes shut with a few tears soaked into his his fur. Jared stepped over me and spoke calmly to Paul, trying to urge him to make himself calm enough to phase back. I shift my head towards Seth, who was now gathering clothes and then towards Embry. His face was torn with grief and tears were welling up in the corners of his eyes. He stooped down next to me and slipped his arms under my legs and my side pressed against the floor. I hissed and wheezed, feeling utter pain travel throughout me. Embry scooped me delicately into his arms in bridal style way and carried me out my room. "It's gonna be okay, Buffy." I nodded, whispering my understanding as he directed himself out my home with my keys in the hands of Seth following behind him.

They placed me in the backseat of my car on my uninjured side and laid me there. "Stay back there with her and make sure she doesn't fall asleep or..." Embry started but trailed off. Seth got the gist of it. _Make sure I don't die in my sleep...or die period. _Seth climbed into the backseat with me and gave me any expression that almost made me want to burst into tears.

…

The pain was terrible, horrendous even. The cloth of the gurney I was placed upon was soft. Hands were pressing against the wounds in my side with a large piece of sterilized gauge. The gurney was being pushed quickly by someone wearing a white lab coat, a doctor possibly. Around me, many faces—some of them nurses—flew by, a look of sympathy, horror, and sadness splitting across their faces. I inhaled the oxygen flowing through the breathing apparatus they'd attached to me once I was on the gurney. I blinked rapidly, feeling a numbness wash over me. The agony was receding, as was my consciousness to the world.

_Anguish_.

_Anguish. Despair._

_Regret._

_It was happening again. It was happening all over again. It was another Emily situation._

This situation had hit home with everyone in the Pack and _hard_. Sam remembered when we he had gotten into and argument with his beloved Emily. _Oh, how beautiful she'd looked on that day. _They had been arguing over Sam leaving Leah for Emily. However, Emily couldn't bring herself to do it, to be with the man she loved as did Leah, no matter how much she wanted to. She couldn't hurt her cousin, her best friend, and her sister. It had escalated too quickly, much like this one, because Sam was a new wolf along with Jared. The Alpha had not only scarred her, he scarred her skin permanently. She was in the hospital for two weeks before her skin healed around the claw marks from her face down to her right wrist. Everyday Sam gazes on at his fiancé in regret and agony at what he did, while others believe that she was mauled by a bear.

Emily sat in the corner waiting room with Sam's arm enveloping her in a snug embrace. He rubbed her arm with one hand while the other buried itself in her shiny sleek hair. She silently cried onto his shoulder and prayed for the salvation of her friend and the sanity of Paul.

Almost all the members of the Wolf Pack were in attendance at the hospital, including Leah—Jacob was still with Bella and the Cullens and hadn't been informed of what's transpired so far. Leah had never bothered to get know the married woman the Lahote boy had imprinted on. She didn't want to know any of the imprints because it on made her think of the bitterness that surrounded her experience with imprinting and how it ruined her life. She hadn't befriend Jared's girlfriend and imprint Kim because the girl was to shy to ever approach the shewolf and said wolf never bothered. When it came to Buffy, the curvy blue-eyed African-American woman went out of her way to always say something nice to Leah. The light gray wolf always ignored her or gave her a snide comment because Leah believed that Buffy was being nice to her out of pity because of the Leah-Sam-Emily love triangle. Looking back on it, Leah realizes maybe Buffy was as kind as Paul's thoughts said she was.

The youngest lads of the bunch weren't in the best shape. Although Leah had steeled her face with the hardness of a brick wall, Embry, Quil, and Seth could not. Quil stuffed his face with the pastries from the vending machine and sniffling. Embry kept unclenching and clenching his fists in an effort to relieve the tension surrounding his heart and bored holes into the mahogany coffee table in front of him. Seth's eyes were almost as puffy as Emily as he too bawled silently on the stiff couch he shared with Embry and his sister. Buffy was like a mother figure to them, apart from Emily. For the short few weeks Buffy had been in La Push, she'd opened her house to them with open arms. She fed them and on rare occasions had clothes for them. They enjoyed her company despite the fact they were ten years her junior. She'd already suffered through an abusive relationship for the past nine years. She didn't deserve this.

While everyone was in the emergency waiting room, Paul was a few ways away in the Forks Hospital bathroom, falling apart and occasionally destroying parts of the bathroom. Paul was a wreck. He'd done the one thing he said he'd never do. _I promised to never harm her and I end up clawing her fucking face off! And for what? At what cost was this necessary?_ After the attack happened, Paul actually thought of himself as a monster. He couldn't even bring himself to calm down his emotions to phase back and get her help. There on the floor was the woman he claimed to love, his imprint. _She still didn't even know about that aspect yet. _He had planned to tell her after he divorce was finalized. Who knows if he may ever get the chance? Paul sobbed and growled simultaneously and gripped the bathroom sink. He pounded a fist on wall besides the mirror in front of it and it rattled. Paul smoothed his fist out on the wall and stared back at himself in the dirty mirror. They'd only been in the hospital for an hour and this weighed on him. He felt worse than he looked. His hair was a little unkempt and he had bags under his eyes due to the stress he'd put on himself over what he had done. On the inside, he just wanted to _die._ He wanted to if Buffy does not survive. If she doesn't—Paul shook his head in the bathroom, trying not to think of what would happen if she died. If she does, live through this, Paul didn't know what he'd do then. The Pack still hadn't told her children of what he was so how would he explain what happened to their mother? A bear attack? He could either be there for her and profusely apologize or...he could leave her be, and keep her out of harms way. The question is, _which one will the silver wolf choose to do?_

_Growls_

_Snarls_

_Excessively sharp claws_

_Fur_

_Wolves_

_The wolves descend upon me, even though I'm in a blanket of darkness. It's the same gray wolf, but multiplied. I'm on the ground bawling, but they still attack. They lung for me and in that instant, I am gone._

My eyes slid open sluggishly as I came up from a dark abyss and the continuing nightmare of the grey wolf, Paul. I tried to rid myself of these thoughts. Paul hadn't meant to hurt me. I know this deep in my heart no matter what my mind showed me during the hours of the night. I blinked again, even more slowly and looked around the my hospital room. The color scheme was an off white and a baby blue. Apart from that, it looked like a regular hospital room. Across the room, in front of my bed was a full length mirror and three chairs. Next to me was a table full of flowers, muffins, and balloons. I smiled at the gesture of the Pack. They were too kind. As I smiled I felt gauze crinkling around my left cheek. Looking in the mirror I saw that it was taped to my face and a little bit of blood shown through. I took a look at myself as a whole. My left arm was wrapped in the same gauze plastered to my face. I could feel the wrappings of the gauze on the wounds in my left side, though it could not be seen because of the hospital gown I wore. The hand I had slapped Paul with was also in a cast. My hair disheveled and dirty and my face needed to be washed. What really shocked me was my pain. I couldn't feel a thing and I'm sure this had to do with morphine they must've given me. When my injuries were fresh, I felt on the verge of death. _Hell, maybe I was._ Now I feel slightly loopy and sleepy.

The sound of the door to my room opening and closing brought my attention away from looking at my tattered person in the mirror. A nurse in purple scrubs came in with a clipboard and smiled at me politely and sympathetically. "Hi, I'm going to be taking care of you for a bit, Buffy. I'm Maritzha."

"Hello," I said cordially. "Do you mind me asking me how long I've been out?"

She flipped through my paperwork and read them to me. "Well, around one in the morning today you were attack my a wild bear outside your home in La Push. You were transported here and were taken immediately into surgery because you need a blood transfusion for the large amount of blood loss and your wounds were severe. Lucky, for you, no major organs were punctured and you arrived here just in the nick of time. Otherwise you'd be in the morgue at the moment. It's only been a couple of hours. It's still Sunday," she said looking at the clock beside my bed. It was one in the afternoon.

"Oh."

"You'll be okay, Buffy. You've got a strong group of friends and family."

I looked at her quizzically. "How'd you know?" She laughed merrily.

"They've been outside ever since they brought you here. They haven't even left—well except that one fella. Oh, what was his name? Perry? Patrick?"

An overwhelming of sadness watched over me. "Did you mean Paul?" He _left._ But _why_?

"That's the one," she said with a sure nod. "He looked a little troubled, I'll say. I asked him if the hospital could get him anything. He said he wanted you healed... After that he took off out the room." I nodded, taking in this information.

I just wanted to know where the love of my life now was and why he'd left.

**A/N: and I finished it. Yes.**

**Lol please review **

**Later gators,**

**-Squid:)**


	10. Break

**Hhmm, still no reviews guys?**

**Do you not like it?**

**-Squid:/**

It was my second day in the hospital. My second day of healing—healing from the attack from Paul. As I did yesterday, I gazed at myself in the mirror sitting across from me. I looked exactly the same. I had bags under my eyes. My hair was greasy and starting wave and revert back to its natural state. My hand was still broken into little bits and in a cast. I still had claw marks healing under bandages on my side and my left arm. I hadn't healed or changed overnight, well not on the outside at least. On the inside, I felt torn and utterly terribl. I was numb from pain because of the morphine, yet that hadn't stopped my mind or my heart from clenching in pain and agony. My mind reminded me constantly of my state of being—reminded me that Paul had done this to me, whether he was a wolf or not. It had been _him_. Yet, my heart yearned for him. My heart knew he'd never intentionally harm me. It wanted him to come and comfort me. It practically hurt to not have him near. His ruggedly handsome face flashed into my mind. For a moment, I was content. The face slowly morphed into thee fierce and snarling expression of the wolf that attacked me yesterday. It roared and snapped its canines at me. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to dispel the reoccurring nightmare in my head. _I know Paul didn't purposely hurt me. He wouldn't._

A hand touched my bare right arm, bringing me out of my nightmare of a day dream. I blinked my blue watery eyes open to a room full of people. Bella and the Pack were all cramped in the small sized room with me. I focused on Bella, who stood at the end of my hospital bed and had the look of sympathy gracing her handsome face. She wore a blue hoodie zipped up and gray sweats with sneakers. She looked like she just rolled out of bed. The pack looked much like she did. I moved my eyes over to the large boys crowding both sides of my bed. Seth had his hands gripping the left silver railing of my bed. Next to him, stood Embry. He had his arms rigidly crossed over his chest. He wasn't looking at me like the other were with pity and sympathy. He looked off, and more that somber. On the opposite side of Bella, was Jacob, Jared, Leah, Sam, and Emily bunched together. All were looking at me, waiting. _When had they arrived here? _

My eyes fell on Emily. She's the closest one to me and had touched my arm. Her warm brown eyes and smile looked upon me with sympathy. I felt tears slip down the sides of my face, some getting caught in the gauze on my left cheek. "Thank you."

Emily's raven brows bunched up in confusion. "For what?"

"You brought me out of my nightmare." My voice cracked and Emily nodded. She reached around and gave me a gentle hug. I tried to return, working around all the needles connecting me to machines and my IV line. I felt my eyes shift across the room as my words sunk in. _Bella, Emily, Sam, Leah, Seth, Jared, Quil, Embry, and Jacob all held looks that ranged from sympathy to sadness._ It was then that I noticed one was missing. I zipped my eyes across the room repeatedly. _He wasn't here. _"Where's Paul?" I mumbled hesitantly. I cast my gaze down and fiddled with my sheets.

"We don't know."

My line of vision snapped to Sam at his words. "_What_ do you mean, you don't know?"

Sam sighed deeply. "As soon as you were admitted into the ICU, he bolted. I couldn't stop him. He needed to leave. He had to get away from this. He wasn't thinking straight on the run over here."

I could hear my heart rate increase on the monitor next to me. "Oh."

"Don't think he's abandoned you."

"He's not here. What would you call that?" No one dared to answer me or look me in the eye. "He left because he feels guilty of something I brought upon myself."

"You couldn't have—"

I stopped Sam from finishing his sentence. "I went to hang out with a bunch of vampires, who I considered friends when he told me not to. I smacked him on the face when he was close to phasing. I did everything I wasn't supposed to do when it comes to dating a werewolf. I brought this upon myself."

"Buffy—"

The sound of the room door creaking open cut off Sam's sentence. We all turned to look as the subject of our discussion came in and stood in the back. His head was cast towards the ground and he was shifting a stuff animal back and forth between his hands. He wasn't making eye contact with anyone. Sam closed his mouth a signaled everyone to evacuate the room so that it'd only be Paul and I left in the room. Once the room cleared, the burly and large form of his lumbered over to me. He handed me the fluffy stuffed animal, still not meeting my eyes and sat down in the chair Emily previously occupied.

I gripped the teddy bear and took a moment to analyze his appearance. Although it'd only been a day from the accident or incident, Paul looked as if he were eons younger and worn down to the core. The hair on his head was dirtied with twigs and leaves. It twisted in every which way as if it hadn't been combed in a while. His skin tone wasn't the rich russet it usually was. He looked pallid from his short clad legs ad up to his handsome face. It was only a slight change in its color but it was enough for me to worried about him and his health. From my position, I couldn't see what was brew in his eyes. What I could see was the darkness surrounding them. The bags under his eyes screamed lack of sleep. _He'd lost sleep over this. _I reached out my left hand to touch his clenched fist. I could feel the stitches and my wounded flesh straining around each other in my left arm and my left side. Paul flinched away from my touch. I struggled to reach farther for him. The medicine for the pain they'd administered to me had made my body more sluggish than it normally was.

"Paul." At the softness of my voice, his eyes shifted to mine. His once hazel eyes were dark and lurked with anguish, anger, and despair. He wouldn't come closer but continued to stare at me pensively. The my IV line connected to my arm as I extended it further, reaching for his hand again. "Paul. Please, say something. Anything!" He pursed his lips and carefully took my left hand and my broken right hand into his hand.

"This shouldn't have happened," he whispered to me. He caressed the pads of his thumb over my bandaged knuckles.

"Paul, you couldn't have known this would happened."

He reared up and the chair he sat in, wrenching his hands away from mine. "But I could've prevented it!" He blurted out. His face had contorted into a grimace of rage at himself. "I could've stopped it from happening," he whispered hoarsely. He began walking around the room and ran his hands through his cropped black hair and over his face.

"You don't know what Paul."

"But I do!" He yelled at me. "Damn it, Buffy. It's because of me you're in the hospital! It's because of me you almost died. If I could've just stopped myself from phasing—"

I sighed. "But you couldn't and that's not your fault. If anyone's at fault here, it's me, Paul."

"Why would you pin this on yourself? Because of me, you'll be physically scared for the rest of your life. I ruined you. And I can't ever take that back. I broke my oath when I said I'd always protect and never harm you. How can you—"

I put up my index finger and cut him off, mid rant. "I can say this because I know that because I my actions I was harmed. I did everything you told me not to do. And because of that I paid the price." I'd thought about this along time. Whenever Jack would dish me out a punishment, it would be because I stepped out of line. It was the same instance with Paul. "I should've done as you say," I uttered to him, feeling tears swell in my eyes. It was like I was stuck in a past episode of my life, except the leading man was different. "Maybe I wouldn't have ended up like I always do..."

His eyes searched my blue ones in understanding. "You thought I was trying to control you."

I nodded. "But I didn't want to end up like that again. I'd found a new friendship in your enemy and I didn't want to tell you because I knew how'd you react. I knew the dangers of loving a werewolf...and I didn't care what the ramifications were. I still don't. I know you didn't purposely hurt me."

"But the point is that hurt you. _I _fucking _hurt _the woman that is my..." He stopped and growled to himself. My eyes widened as he began to tremble in little quakes. He halted his pacing and punched a hole into the wall beside him. I jumped at his sudden display of aggression, and reminded myself to stay calm. At my gasp of fright, he turned to me. Pieces of plaster fell from between his balled up fist and his shaking slowed to a stop. "I scared you again. Didn't I?"

I shook my head back and forth vigorously. "No—"

"Don't _fucking lie_ to me Buffy!" He growled out. He whipped his head back in forth, and smoothed his face into a smooth mask. I couldn't even tell what he was feeling anymore. His eyes had even hardened themselves into a steel. "I'm sorry," he said flatly.

He stepped quietly back over to the side of my bed and sat down. "It's ok—"

He gripped my hands between his and squeezed his eyes closed. He slowly opened them to mine. "Don't say that, Buffy. Just don't. It is not _ok. _I can see it in your eyes. I can feel your emotions in my heart and soul. I know you're not ok. I know you're scared. I _know_ you're terrified of me. And I keep hurting you to instill that fear in you. I don't want to do that. I don't want you to live in fear. I can't hurt you anymore. I _won't._"

"Paul." I felt a jolt of uneasiness travel throughout my body as I sat a little closer to him.

"Let me finish, please." He released a deep breath. "I realized something the other night. I loved you. For once in my life, I genuinely loved another woman. And then, I brutally injured that woman. I'm a monster." _You're not a monster! _I practically wanted to scream at him. He was everything but that! "I'm dangerous...and I'm going to continue to hurt you whether I mean to or not. I think it would be best if I'm out of your life."

I stared at him wide eyed with shock. It felt as if all the color had drained from my face. My heart monitor skyrocketed when the beats of my heart soared in anxiety and shock. "No, no," I whispered and reached out to him with a shaky hand. "Don't say that. You don't mean it."

He took my hand, it's warmth comforting me for a split second and laid it back down on the sheets of my hospital bed. "I do, mean it."

"You can't, Paul! You just cant. What happened to all the memories we shared? What happened to you wanting to save me from the wretched life I lived? What happened to you loving me, me loving you and wanting to protect me? What happened to all of that? Huh?" I could feel myself becoming more erratic while I spoke to him. _This couldn't...shouldn't be happening._ I felt like jumping out of bed and throttling him. This was crazy!

"I am trying to keep my promise, or what's left of it, to keep you and your family safe. If that means staying away from you then so be it."

I struggled to keep my emotions from spilling over. On the outside I felt more calmed that I should have been. Inside, my soul and my heart were ready to unleash a whirlwind of sadness, anger, despair, and abandonment. "Is this your way of saying goodbye?"

He nodded curtly. "It's what's best." He leaned forward and caressed my lips with a tender kiss. He placed another delicate one on my forehead. "Goodbye, Buffy." With that he rose out his seat and left.

…

Two days later, Wednesday, the hospital I was admitted to in Forks released me. I was given pain medication and required to rewrap my bandages two times a day as to not cause infection. Ananda had come to pick me up in my car along with my children. They were ecstatic to see me and happy that I was ok. My coworker could tell that something was wrong with me. She could tell that I wasn't acting like myself.

Paul had never returned to the hospital. His goodbye lingered in my mind, etching a hole into my heart. It felt raw and clenched around my heart. I remember lying in my hospital bed, hearing his words echo in my brain. I'd lay there at night, when no nurses would bother me, crying and gripping at my chest. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream for him but I couldn't. The nurses would here and keep me there longer. And Paul would never respond to my calls. So I sat there, wallowing in a pool of my own destruction and agony. I was bad and my emotions felt as if they were amplified when ever I thought of doing something not relatable to Paul.

We'd arrived to my house around an hour ago. It was around five o'clock in the evening. Aiden and Aurora were upstairs doing their homework from their mathematics class today. Ananda was helping me in the kitchen with dinner. It wasn't anything extravagant. It was meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Ananda had put the bag if potatoes into the microwave to thaw out. I'd just placed my loaf into the oven. I rummaged around my kitchen, taking out red patterned plates and matching cups, trying to keep myself under control. _I was resisting the urge to hurl myself out a window._ I could practically feel my friend's eyes watching me.

"Buffy." I paused in the placement of my dishes and turned to look at her.

"Yes?"

"What's buggin' you girl?"

I glanced at her, hesitantly wondering if I should tell her the truth—well part of the truth. I bit my lip and answered her. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"You and I both know that is _bullshit_. I've known you for two months. I know when something is bugging you. You can talk to me."

I stopped setting the table and walked over to the counter chair to seat myself. She placed her self in the seat to my left and waited patiently for me to begin. The truth was I didn't know _where _to begin. I wanted to blurted out everything and tell her the truth, but I knew I had a secret to protect. I sighed feeling my heart lurch uncomfortably I was about to tell her. "Paul ended it."

An appalled gasped shot from her, her mouth forming in an 'O'. "Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry. You two were perfect together."

I looked at her puzzled, blinking back tears from spilling over. "How do you know?"

"Are you kidding me?" She slapped me on the shoulder playfully. "I've seen you guys at the more secretive part of First beach on Saturdays. You, him, and your kids always looked like one little happy family. And by the way you talk about him like he walks on water and shit and you haven't slept together yet? It just proves you're perfect for each other."

"That's how it felt. We felt like a family. He was fixing my family in more ways than you can imagine." I cupped my face with my left palm and blew out some air. I could feel the wetness of my cheeks on my finger tips from my tears. Ananda began to rub my back.

"Then what changed?" She asked, encouraging me with each circular rub on my back.

I gestured to my injuries. "My physical appearance. We got into a heated argument and I ended up breaking my hand on his face from slapping him so hard. In the heat of the moment, I…ran outside and stumbled into the forest and upon a wild animal. It attacked me."

She frowned at my explanation probably sensing how the stories didn't go with each other. She shrugged. "It's his loss. He missed out on someone incredible."

"Yeah," I muttered to myself.

I glanced up from the black marble counter, my haze drifting over to the window. The illuminated figure of a grey wolf by the setting sun met my eyes. I could feel myself slipping out of my chair heading towards the front door. I could hear Ananda calling my name, but I wasn't responding to her. Paul sat there staring me through the window as I walked by. His amber eyes were filled to brim with sadness. Finally, I reached my porch and saw he hadn't left and was still rooted in the same position and his large hazel eyes were still trained on me. I sniffled, feeling tears streak down my face. I frowned at him, wondering why he even came. Was it to torture me? _Because he sure as hell was doing a fine job at it._ Did he want me back? Was he watching over me? I shook my head ridding myself of these thoughts. It didn't matter why he was here. He was here and I'd never felt better. The hole in my heart burned with happiness and not with agony. I didn't feel the urge to scream out anymore. My heart was content although my emotions said differently.

I cast my eyes to the ground, not being able to bear looking at the unnaturally massive wolf. "I love you," I whispered, so quietly I was sure only my house heard it.

**A/N: I know it took me a month to update. So sorry babies.**

**How was this one? Yay or nay?**

**Ciao, lovelies,**

**-Squid:)**


	11. Torn

**Hey there,**

**Yeah I know I've been gone for a few months. Before I could continue this story, I had to graduate high school, which I did, so yay to me! I'll try to update every week ok. **

**Now, on with the chapter,**

**-Squid:)**

* * *

It had been two weeks since _he_ last visited. I hadn't seen _him_ in two weeks and- and I felt like I was experiencing withdrawal from a drug addiction. My mind was all over the place. Silver wolves, some menacing and others not, continued to run through my mind as if chasing someone through the jumbled forest of my thoughts. Over their growls I only heard _his_ words. '_I think it would be best if I'm out of your life.' 'It's what's best.' 'Goodbye, Buffy.'_ They played monotonously in my head, reminding me of the constant pain I was experiencing and I couldn't escape it. I felt sick and had the ache in my chest that made me question on whether or not I was experiencing a heart attack. It was as if something dug and clawed itself into the aortas of my heart and began to squeeze and claw and tear at it. It brought tears to my eyes and only happened when Paul graced my mind and that was constantly. It didn't help with the stitches either. Because of the intense pain I felt in my chest, it the healing wounds on my side were almost unbearable. I ended up complaining to my doctor, who prescribed me some pain medication and sent me on my way. It only helped just a tad. The pain was worse at night. There were constant nightmares, and sometimes I screamed. I'd even woken my children up and scared them. I tried my best to reassure them that I was fine. _Even if I was not fine, they shouldn't have to worry. _I could see it in their eyes that I hadn't fooled them. I hadn't fooled anyone that I was hurting. Ananda visited me everyday because I received paid leave from the school due to my injuries. She saw the heavy bags under my eyes from restlessness. She saw the messiness of my hair and how it had grown a little. She saw my tiredness. She saw me clutching my heart. She saw _everything _and I couldn't even tell her the real reason why. She only knew half the truth and it was because of _him_. I felt alone. I couldn't talk to her nor could I talk to the Pack. _He_ had Sam order them to leave me alone, including Emily. I was _truly_ alone and that upset me because it was _his entire fucking fault_. _He_ could've let me keep my friends so I wouldn't have to be alone but he just _ripped _it all away because of _one_ single incident that was entirely my fault. I couldn't talk to Bella or the Cullens because they would jump to conclusions and all hell would break loose. I just wanted to talk to someone. I just wanted to talk to—

"Paul," I murmured to myself, hearing my voice croak.

I was sitting on the cliffs of La Push overlooking First Beach. It was vacant this morning, which was splendid. I didn't want anyone to hear my sobs from up here. I sat with my calves tucked under me and ignored the critters crawling on my bare feet in a snug pair of sweat pants. A gust of wind blew my lengthening raven hair in the wind, my bangs sloshed from side to side. The gust was cool, which told me the water down below was as well. I sniffled, feeling tears drop onto my oversized gray shirt I had on. It was P-_his_. It was all I had left of _him_ and _his _woodsy scent was nearly gone. _Oh, how I missed his smell._ I grabbed the hem of it and rubbed my eyes clear of their tears and they continued to swell with the liquid. The tears continued to come the more I thought about _him_ and soon, I was full on sobbing. I clutched at the shirt, clawing for my heart as a wave of pain hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying silently and clawing and gasping on the hilltop. I was on the verge of hysteria as I slowly laid myself further on the ground. I could feel myself hiccupping and sobbing and gasping at the same time as the upsurge of the ache in my heart brought on another onslaught of torture. I gave up trying to fight the hurt and clenched my eyes shut in hopes of fading away. A hand placed itself on my spasming back. I gently relaxed my eyes and shifted to see who it was in the midst of an attack. Slowly, shaggy black hair came into view along the worried face of Seth. He crouched over my shaking body and let the warmth of his hand rest on the upper part of my back. I watched him watch me as I unceasingly gasped at my heart being eaten away. I flinched at the sudden impact his fist made with ground and the gutturalness of his growl.

"Paul is gonna pay for this." I sobbed and released a mini screech.

"Please don't say _his_ name. Please," I whispered hoarsely as my heart's demise continued to go downward. "I don't want anymore pain than I already have."

His eyes softened and he nodded understandingly. "I'm taking you to Emily's." I started to shake my head frantically at the thought of seeing _him_ there as Seth began to lift me up.

"Please don't. I can't face—"

"He's not going to be there. It's not his day to patrol so he's in school." I nodded as he started to take the trail back to the beach with a fast gallop. "It'll only be Sam, Em, Leah, and myself. There you can rest, until you think you're stable enough to walk."

"How're you able to break the rules and see me, Seth?"

"I wasn't around when Sam made the gag order so I wasn't affected by it."

I sighed as twigs scraped against us as we zipped by. I was causing trouble in the making. I just knew it. "You don't have to do this—"

"I do," he stated to cut me off before I could go into a tirade about why he shouldn't do this. "Paul is frickin' idiot for putting you through this and since he's been avoiding you, he hasn't seen you the way you are now. I'll be damned if I let an important person in my life crumple before my very eyes because Paul thinks he's doing a good thing by leaving you by yourself, which is only making matter worse for you—" He stopped midsentence when he noticed my labored breathing. "Ah crap, I said Paul didn't I?"

* * *

I was resting in the guest bedroom of Sam and Emily's home. Seth had brought me there and asked them if I could recuperate. He'd explained to them the state he found me in and described the attack I had. By the time we'd reached their place, it had died down a bit. They didn't discuss anymore and decided it was best that I sleep and I was halfway there in Seth's arms. It wasn't until I woke up in the afternoon, that they decided to talk more about it. I was closed off in the room with my back to the closed door, listening quietly as they spoke in the other room, the kitchen. The walls must have been paper-thin. I was surprised to be able to hear them clearly.

"We can't keep doing this Sam."

"Seth, it was Paul's wishes that—"

"Screw his wishes! Can't you see what it's doing to her? She's a complete wreck because of Paul's wishes! He hasn't seen her or spoken to her in a week and she's falling apart. Imagine her in a few months. She'll hate him for doing this. She's his imprint and that should say it all that he shouldn't be doing this to her especially with the life she's lived. He should be helping her heal, not letting her crumble to pieces and breaking everyday." Seth paused in his speech and took a deep breath. "Imagine you're in this situation again with Emily. What did you do?"

There was a long pause. "I stayed with her in the hospital for the two weeks she stayed there."

"And did you leave her after that?"

"…No."

"So imagine if you had left her, like Paul did Buffy. Imagine you're Paul and Buffy is Emily. Do you see what it's doing to her?"

"Paul needs to see what happened to her. He needs to come here and talk to her so we can monitor him. We don't want another repeat."

"I—I already took the liberty of calling him actually. Well earlier I did because I thought it was best. He should be here soon." There was a clapping sound as if Sam had clapped Seth on the back.

"Don't look so afraid. I'm not going to chew you out. I should've done that earlier. Good job."

I could almost see Seth scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. He released a breath of relief. "What're we going to do about her kids? They still need to be picked up."

"I'll have Emily do it. She wouldn't mind—" A loud bang of a door cut Sam off.

"There had better be a good goddamn reason I'm here." I almost swore at the sound and gruffness of his voice. It was husky and held the tone of annoyance to say the least. A moment of silence passed. "You brought _her_ here?" he growled out.

"He had no choice, Paul."

"He had a fucking choice and he chose the wrong one! I'm leaving."

"Paul—don't. She needs you," Seth told him softly, "just as much and you need her."

"I'm _no_ good for her. All I ever do is cause harm."

"Look at yourself, Paul." Seth began forcefully. "You look like you haven't slept in days. Your body is gaunt looking. You've lost a ton of weight. You're not even your regular self anymore. It's like your numb or gone or something like that. If this is happening to you, then what do you think this is doing to her?"

Another moment passed where Paul, Sam, or Seth didn't say anything. "Where is she?" he inquired from his pack mates. His voice was tender. All the aggravation and huskiness was gone.

I closed my eyes as the door to my room opened and closed with a creak. His footsteps were as slow moving as my heart as I tried not to alert him that I was indeed awake. The heat of his body was suddenly in front of me. I felt like was lying next to a space heater. A gentle caress graced across my cheek. I opened my eyes, slowly, and watched him trace the healing claw mark on my left cheek. "Paul," I murmured to him. His startled hazel eyes shot to my azure ones and he halted his movements. I snaked my body out from under the covers and gently placed my hand on top of this hand as he tried to move back. I sat on the edge of the bed in front of him. His hand was shaking, but not as if he were to phase. "It's okay, baby. It's okay." I cupped the sides his face in my hand and forced him to look at me.

He opened his mouth a few times with his brow furrowed, struggling to find the right words before he just closed his eyes with a frown. "I'm so sorry," he told me ruefully, opening his pained eyes. "I didn't know—I put you through so much pain!"

"It's okay," I reassured him again. My eyes filled up with tears threatening to pour. "It's fine."

"How can you say it's okay when it's not?" He shook his head and grasped my small wrists with his meaty fingers. He began to draw patterns on the backs of them with his thumbs. "I don't deserve you at all."

"Don't talk like that. That's how we ended up here in the first place."

"I'm sorry. I just thought you by leaving you alone, it'd solve everything. You'd be safe from me. I wouldn't cause you pain."

"Being away from you caused me pain."

His sad eyes widened with realization as he looked upon me. "Does that mean you'll take me back?"

"I never gave you away." I sniffled as the tears slid from the corners of my eyes.

I slid my arms around his neck and pecked him lightly while I brought him into a snug embrace. My thighs spread to accommodate his body coming flesh against mine. The warmth of his person spread to me as his arms encircled my body tightly. I buried my face into the crook of his neck and he did the same to mine. His scent hit me like a slap to the face. It was woodsy with a scent of the ocean and the earth. It wafted into my nose, drowning my senses. I missed the smell some much it hurt. It did hurt but the pain was now gone now that Paul was here. _Oh god, I missed him so much. I missed this. I missed his hugs, his kisses, his touch, his voice, his laughter, and his dirty humor. I missed his everything! It was almost like a dream._ I hugged him tighter, fearing this was a reverie or delirium and that he might disappear at any moment.

He wrapped my legs around his waist, picked me up, and began to shush me. I realized I was sobbing quite hard. "Please don't cry baby. Please don't. I can't stand to see you cry."

"I can't help it. I missed you!" I continued to bawl and blub into his neck. He moved around my bed and opened the guest room's door.

"I know and I'm terribly sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry," he mumbled into my hair while he maneuvered around the Uley home.

He said something to someone else in the room with us, to quick for me to catch. I didn't bother with trying to see who it was, knowing that my face was a mess. Paul carried me outside the humbled home before I could say goodbye to any of the any of the other there. He buckled me in my seat the passenger side of his pickup truck, swiftly entered his side, and drove us quickly to my home. The entire car ride he kept his hand in mine.

Paul didn't waste anytime getting me to my room. He easily sat me down on my bed and leaned into kiss me. His lips hovered over my mine. Hot breath ghosted over readied ones. Our lips connected creating liquid fire that surge throughout my body. It started at my core and dispersed to all the sensitive parts of my body. The kiss was gentle and raw. It was the right amount of lust. It was what we had bee missing. It was what we needed. We continued to our embrace for an eternity, exploring each other's bodies all the while. My fingers tangled themselves in his rumpled hair. He let his mouth descend upon my jawline. I felt the peppered kisses trailing down the side of my jaw and to my neck. My head flew back with a hiss of pleasure releasing from my lips as he nipped at vein near the base of my throat. He reversed his trail and came back to my lips Paul pushed back against my mouth, smooching me hard and I relented, letting him lay my body down on my soft sheets.

I could already tell where this was heading and I wouldn't mind it one bit. But we were moving too fast already. _We'd just gotten the monstrous hump that tore us apart and sexual pleasure was not what we should be focusing on. _I pressed my palm against his shirt-covered chest and mumbled his name against his lips. He didn't seem to hear through his lust-filled haze. I pinched on of his nipples to grab his attention. This erupted a deep and raspy chortle from him.

"Someone's a bit kinky, eh?" He emitted a closed mouth rumble from deep within his chest.

I sighed and a small laugh escaped me. "No, Paul, I was trying to gather your attention."

"Well you've got someone's attention."

I simpered at him not bothering to glance at the appendage growing against me. "Can you focus for a second? I think we're moving too fast. I just got you back. Sex isn't the first thing we need to be focused on."

"Yes it should. I haven't touched you in weeks. I missed your vivacious personality and voluptuous body."

"Paul." He rolled his eyes and moved to sit beside me. I took it as the gesture to resume. "I just want to make up lost time. We'll have time for pleasure later. Is that so much to ask for?" I glanced down at my hands and back to his face. A loving smile had graced his face. His face was so full of affection; it'd caught me by surprise.

"I'll do anything for you."

"You seriously mean that?"

He nodded seriously and hoisted me onto his lap by the hips. I twisted to the side to face him. "You're the love of my life. I'll whatever it is that makes you happy. You're my—my imprint," he stammered over the word.

My threaded raven eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement. "What's an imprint?"

"It's something that happens to us wolves after we phase. It means we've found our soul mate."

"I'm _your_ soul mate?" I felt a surge of happiness and joy explode within me. I tackled Paul on the bed. "Why didn't you tell me?" I all but screamed at him with delight.

"I didn't know how you would take it."

"You're gonna be mine for the rest of my life. I'm pretty happy."

He kissed my forehead and smiled into my hair. "Yeah, I can see that."

"How'd you know you imprinted? I mean when did it happen."

"It happened that day you started working at the school. All your stuff was on the ground outside and something told me to go and help you. Normally, I wouldn't have, but," He stopped and shook his head to himself, "I just had this urge. When I went over there and handed you your papers, it was like looking into the eyes of an angel." His eyes gazed away from me as if he were remembering the day itself. "You were so beautiful and I couldn't look away. Your hair was a lustrous and shiny black. You had eyes the color of the vast ocean that I wanted to swim in forever. Your body was this temple I wanted to worship. Then there you were. It was like a pull to be near you. I wanted to talk to you and hear your voice. I wanted your attention so bad. I wanted you. It was such a strong emotion that I was really terrified at first. But then, Sam explained to me what was going on—and things started from there."

"Wow." It was all I could muster. Jack had never said anything like that to me, even when we were in the honeymoon stage.

"Yeah, it's some intense stuff."

An idea sprung up in my head as lay nestled in his arms on my bed. "Why don't we discuss all your wolf biz tonight? We have a dinner here at my house. That way we can discuss what's been going on with you and me over the past few weeks. I can also keep the kids nearby."

"Buffy…"

"Paul, please! I can't stand not knowing what's going on in the pack. I feel left out. Sam tells Emily stuff. Why can't you do the same?"

"Something tells me I'm going to regret this later on down the line but fine. I'll tell you everything. On one condition though," He argued.

"What is it?"

"You have to tell me when you're going over to the Cullens." I nodded; shocked that he would even let me back over there. He probably just didn't want a repeat of last time. "Good. Now, you go grocery shopping, for dinner. I'll go pick up the munchkins."

He let me roll off his body and onto my bed. I missed his heat immediately. "Ya know Aiden and Aurora miss you. They wanted to know when 'mommy's boyfriend' is coming back."

"Those little munchkins," Paul snorted, "I missed them, too."

* * *

Paul had taken his truck to go pick up the children. Emily called and told me that she'd picked them up, taking into consideration that I was having an episode today. Paul would take them back to my house and help them with their homework or keep them occupied. Meanwhile, I was at the shopping market in Forks. It was the closest one to La Push that had what I needed for dinner tonight. I was making Sloppy Joe, coleslaw, and crescent rolls.

I wheeled around the grocery store; tossing in the proper ingredients I needed for tonight along with something other things for later. "Where's the tomato sauce at?" I scanned the aisles of canned diced fruit, searching for my target. With a thud my can fell into my basket. I looked up to see a grinning Emmett Cullen leaning on the aisle shelf—which looked ready to cave because of his weight—with his brother Edward. "Thanks, Em."

"Anything for you, babe."

"Hey, Edward. Where's Bella?" _Aren't they supposed to be attached at the hip or something?_ He grimaced. Oh, right, thoughts.

"She's in the feminine product aisle."

"Enough about Bella and her female problems—Buffy, when are you coming back over? You're the only one that gets my sense of humor."

I smiled widely at the burly vampire. _Aw, I feel special. People miss me…or at least a person misses me. _That's good enough. "Well, when will training be over?" _For the war_ I finished in my mind.

"Training ended yesterday. We set off tomorrow." Edward answered for his brother.

"Dude, she was obviously talking to me."

I proceeded to ignore Em just like Edward was doing. "Tomorrow? What time?"

"We're leaving right before the sunset to leave so we that we have enough time to execute our plans."

"Which are?"

"It'd be better to ask Paul or Sam. It's too risky here."

"Ok."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry guys, it took me thirty years to update, I know. The other chapter will be longer. Please review**

**Damn, I'm tired. It took me an all nighter to write this.**

**Love you,**

**-Squid:)**


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